Wednesday, July 04, 2018

Happy Second Civil War Day!

Treason's greedings, fellow Dot Calm readers, freedom fighters, and truth crusaders!

Apparently, we all missed the memo from George Soros--or, at least, I know I did--because I didn't hear that we libtards were launching the Second Civil War today until I read it earlier this week in a tweet from Alex Jones.

So many of our good country-men and women tweeted out second civil war letters to fortify our side, letting us all know that we were well prepared with potato salad and avocado toast and vegan gluten free rations as the educated and empathetic among us began carefully infiltrating the Wal-Marts and incels' mothers' basements, ready to do battle.

I was afraid I'd be latte to the fight because I was still fixing my POUR over covfefe, but I made it at last.

This morning, I was able to send my dad a telegram tweet from behind enemy lines in Chad's mother's basement.

I had snuck in to drop leaflets "Russia is NOT our friend" and "How NOT to vote against your own best interests," but alas--the enemy cannot read.

The stench of the scene still overwhelms me--do the red hats never brush their tooth?

But the real ugliness began when the incels and the MAGAts began in-fighting over who's alpha, with the loser having to nuke Hot Pockets for everybody.

I still shudder at the memory of it all.

But here I am, home safe again with Pa and able to regale you with my tales from the Second Civil War.

Don't ever say that Alex Jones never gave us anything
--if you haven't already, do read secondcivilwarletters on Twitter. They are thoughtful and hi-larious!

*****

On a more serious note, as Malcolm Nance has been saying for many months now, our democracy is truly under attack. The treasonous GOP are celebrating OUR nation's birthday today in RUSSIA with PUTIN. They are not even trying to hide it. Friends, PLEASE find at least one person who didn't vote in the last election, help him or her register, and drive to the polls this November. If we don't take back our Congress, it's goodbye to American democracy. We must ALL VOTE BLUE NO MATTER WHO. This is NOT a drill--it is our LAST CHANCE.

Today is Darwin's favorite holiday, so here's a friendly reminder please to be safe and careful today. Take care of your local veterans and pets by being respectful with fireworks. We need all hands on deck for the battle to come this November.

- Dot Calm's shadow
P.S.--don't forget to keep up on le n00z in bite-sized pieces on Dot Calm's shadow's M00bies from The Resistance