Would it bother them?

I have maga friends and relatives, whom I love dearly and refuse to give up on. I support them the best I can. But sometimes, I wonder: do they care that, if their leader got his way, he'd lock me up, maybe even murder me, as an "animal"--an "enemy within"? Would it bother them? Or are they just too far gone? 

The narcissists I know going maga I understand--I've always seen it as unfortunate but not surprising, given the shame and never-enoughness they've lived their lives steeped in.

But I had always thought of one of these magas as an intelligent, rational, reasonable person, even if we were not in the same political party. We used to be able to have the kind of political discussions that Joe Walsh and other old-school republicans lament the loss of--where we all understand the common problems and bring our own perspectives of which should be prioritized and how to solve them for the common good.

I miss those discussions, too, especially with this particular maga. 

What I really want to know is what happened to them.

How did they go from "reasonable" to "red hat"?

What made them give in to all the fear, hate, and shame?

This person isn't a spring chicken. I know a lot about how they grew up and how damaging their birth family was. I thought for sure, having known them for decades, that they were much farther along on their healing journey than seems compatible with joining the maga cult. 

But there they are--red hat and all.

And I am mystified. How did I miss the signs that they'd go this way? It makes me question my own judgment and wonder whether confiding in them in the past was a big mistake.

And I wonder: if their leader got his way and disappeared me, would it bother them? 

Or do they, too, see me only as an animal, the enemy within, worthy only of being squashed like a noxious bug?