Sunday, August 11, 2013

Women's rights in Texas:
Things may get worse before they get even "worser"! 

Although one of the most restrictive—and controversial—abortion bills in U.S. history was signed, a trio of Texas state representatives decided it wasn't enough.

I dunno, Texas...you'd better step up executions or you'll be dealing with over-population. 

It wasn't enough to threaten the shutdown of all but a handful of women's health clinics, effectively cutting off millions of Texan women from their right to healthcare.

Back Alleys Here We Come!
Thanks, you self-righteous prix!

It wasn't enough to put intense restrictions on abortions—and the facilities and doctors that supply them—now all but an elite few will have access.

Back to the 50s, gang.

It wasn't enough to expose an entirely new generation of women to the wonders of back alley abortions and flea market pharmacies....

Wait! There's more!

So Texas representatives Dan Flynn-R, Geanie Morrison-R and Phil King-R got together and wrote a bill that would make it illegal to have an abortion after a fetal heartbeat is detected—something that usually happens around six weeks.

C'mon, you pasty, white fux....be honest now....are you all concerned for that blob of phlegm or is it a matter of controlling women?

Hey, Manny, Moe and Jack....how about some support for these women and their babies..How about fair wages? Or equal rights? Day care facilities? Affordable housing? Holding men responsible and accountable?

Just askin'...

It seems you Republicans are unaware that it takes two (2) to create these little blessings.

That's what happens when sex education is withheld and frowned upon, except for the stork theory.

*************************************** 
MANDATORY
VASECTOMY FOR UNMARRIED MEN!

Abortion Problem Solved!
***************************************

Although most women don't know they're pregnant at six weeks, for those who do, abortion providers would be mandated to find a fetal heartbeat using a transvaginal ultrasound.

That's right: the same vaginal probing device that terrorized all of us in the last legislative session.

It's baaaaaacccck! Yeeooowwweeeoooo!

On the other side of the aisle, Rep. Harold Dutton Jr.-D filed a bill that would stop anti-abortion bills from being filed until Texas abolishes the death penalty!

In June, Texas executed its 500th inmate.

Just last week, two more went down.

That's 502 and counting.

Neither bill is projected to go far...but they certainly illustrate the incredibly polarized views of the people of Texas...

and the totally phuqued-up views of these Republican hypocrites. .

Does this smell?

If there's a Republican around, it smells putrid!

In an interview with the Waco Tea Party, ...you mean the wacky Waco Tea Baggers?....Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst remarked on the "despicable" protestors who converged on the capital during the July 12 vote on the abortion bill.

What do you suppose they wanted?? Those Despicable protesters!

According to the Huffington Post, Dewhurst said I walked over to where they were getting water bottles out and smelling them.

Smelling them?

They had urine in them?

eeooowwww! Moral: Be careful where you stick your nose!

And there were bags of feces for the trash.

Yeah! Where there is urine, feces is sure to follow.

What is  more disturbing than bringing poop and urine into the Capitol building, is that state poopers...er, I mean troopers, smelled it.

Isn’t it settled rule of law that if something looks like poop, and smells like poop, it is treated like poop?.

Obviously, urine in a water bottle is discarded. Attorney General Greg Abbott needs to run on this platform.

Just be careful not to slip! 

We can support it!

Although the abortion bill has received an inordinate amount of coverage, as Texas politicos like to point out, there is still one big issue this session, that  pesky transportation bill.

An amendment needs to be included to divert $800 million in oil and gas taxes be used to repair infrastructure.

It passed the House on Thursday, no one is expecting it to sail through the Senate this week.

Because they have a different plan, it's anyone's guess as to what they'll end up doing.

At the abortion bill signing, Gov. Rick Perry told lawmakers that he'd like to see them go home and have some great vacation time with their wives and children (yep, he said "wives") and that they could certainly go ahead and do that "as soon as you put a transportation bill on my desk."

Given that they have until July 31 to end the session, I'd say Fat Chance!

Even slimmer are chances that he'd call them back right away, before they reached a deal.

So it looks like we may all get a break from the Pink Dome for a while in August. But because Perry has been known to surprise everyone in the past, I'm not laying down any money on it.

That scoundrel! 

Well, it hasn't been a fun week to be a Texan.

The Daily Show host, Jon Stewart, yelled profanities at us!

The rest of the country keeps talking about how messed up we are. (Didn't they hear about Detroit? Or Egypt?)

But we'll get through this.

Don't you morons realize you are NOT doing the people's work?

Because things always get worse before they get worser.