Monday, February 18, 2013

Since the 113th congress has been in session, they have shown up for eight full business days.

Nice work, if you can get it.

The 22 Senate Republicans who voted against re-authorizing the popular Violence Against Women Act include a trio of presidential aspirants, a pair of tea party rookies and the chamber's most high-ranking GOP members.

Now the House battle for the Act awaits. GOP 2016 hopeful Mario Rubio opposed it because of “new provisions that could have potentially adverse consequences.”

For whom, women?

Get that guy a glass of water...and pour it on his freaken head!

Democrats were most surprised (aren’t they always?) by Florida Sen. Marco Rubio's vote against  re-authorizing the law, which still passed the Senate by a wide margin.

Kentucky Sen. Rand Paul and South Dakota Sen. John Thune, both eyeing the White House, also voted against the bill.

Just wait for election day, you fux! Women have long memories when they’re not being knocked around.

Re-authorization of the law, first passed in 1994, now heads to the House, where swift passage is far from guaranteed.

You may want to reconsider your votes, fellahs...or don’t plan on redecorating the White House any time soon...women account for at lease 50% of the vote--before the machines are dicked with.

Women are completely dependable, just don’t interfere with her manicure appointment. I’m kidding, of course. I was just amusing myself.

House Republicans killed the legislation last year, though Democrats have now dropped some of the provisions that drew GOP objections, including expanded visas for abused immigrants.

Immigrants? What did I miss?

And some moderate Republicans in the House have begun to push for action.

Hear that, ladies? Duck!

"It's now time for the House to follow suit and send this bill to my desk so that I can sign it into law," President Obama said in a statement.

Don’t hold your breath, Mr. President.

******

Mario Rubio is the early favorite in the GOP's 2016 sweepstakes, and as Republicans try to recover from the "war on women" moniker Democrats pegged to them last year, it's easy to picture Rubio's vote coming back to bite him.

Either his vote or some pi*sed off woman!

In a carefully worded statement, Rubio, who delivered the GOP's official response to the State of the Union

How could we forget...gulp, gulp?

just hours later, voiced support for the overall law but said he couldn't support re-authorization.

Specifically, he cited federal mandates on spending decisions that he prefers be left to the states, and a provision that would leave Americans open to prosecution by tribal authorities for crimes against women on Native American reservations.

Yeah! Screw the Native American women!

"I believe we should have re-authorized the existing Violence Against Women Act that has helped reduce the annual incidence of domestic violence by more than 50 percent, among other successes," Rubio said.

"I also continue supporting the work being done at the federal, state and local levels to combat domestic violence, sexual assault, dating violence, and stalking."

Are these Republican misfits just too precious?

Democrats were positively gleeful that Rubio, recently pegged as "The Savior" of the GOP by Time magazine, had cast a vote that could hurt him in 2016.

Ya think?

"Looks like he's not a savior to women," former Obama campaign strategist Stephanie Cutter said, according to Politico. "Regardless of what his future may be, this vote will follow him."

The 2016 hopefuls who voted against the bill were joined by heavy-hitters like Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell of Kentucky (aka the phuque) and Senate Minority Whip John Cornyn of Texas, and tea party rookies Ted Cruz of Texas and Tim Scott of South Carolina.

Democrats made clear in the moments after the bill's passage in the Senate that they're prepared to make Republicans pay a political price if the legislation stalls in the House.

"One of the lessons from this election is that women are going to stand up," Minnesota Democratic Sen. Amy Klobuchar said at a news conference.

"They're going to stand up for themselves, and when people start messing around with questioning rape and questioning victims and talking about things in ways that women find offensive, they're going to respond."

The other Republicans who voted against the bill are Sens. John Barrasso (WY), Roy Blunt (MO), John Boozman (AR), Tom Coburn (OK), Mike Enzi (WY), Lindsey Graham (SC), Chuck Grassley (IA), Orrin Hatch (UT), James Inhofe (OK), Mike Johanns (NE), Ron Johnson (WI), Mike Lee (UT), Jim Risch (ID), Pat Roberts (KS), and Jeff Sessions (AL).

Well done, guys! See ya next election day!