Tuesday, August 27, 2013

From Gawd’s Heavens To Your Ears!
Some Poils Of Wisdom From Paddy Robertson...

Washington (CNN)--Televangelist Pat (Paddy) Robertson wishes Facebook had a 'vomit' button so that he could click on it every time he came across a photograph of a gay couple kissing.

What do we get to ‘click on’ to rid ourselves of hypocritical televangelists? Whars the vomit button for that??
 
Robertson has repeatedly made clear his disapproval of homosexuality,

Listen kids...this nut is a man of the cloth...time to do the laundry!

made the latest comments Monday in response to a question he fielded from a viewer on his Christian Broadcasting Network show "The 700 Club."

CBNCrazy Bat sh*t Nutz
show and “The ScrewLoose Club”

the viewer wanted to know how to address images of same-sex couples on social media sites, such as Facebook.

Nobody knowz  itz you! Have at it...Queers, Fags....you know, the usual.

You've got a couple of same-sex guys kissing, do you like that? Well that makes me want to throw up," he said.

JollyWell...have at it!

"To me I would punch 'Vomit;' not 'Like,' he added.

What the hell are you clicking on, you dirty old man?!

Robertson: Males tend to wander

Thatz an easy one...castrate them!

2010: Pat Robertson: Haiti is cursed

and you’re not?

Robertson slams 'awful-looking' women

Paddy, letz tawk...ever take a close look at a pic of your mug?
 

Need I say more??

"But they don't give you that option on Facebook."

Facebook again! Stay off the Facebook already!

It's not the first time Robertson, 83, has used vomit to express his sentiments on homosexuality.

Vomit is a great word...and I know xactly who I’d assign it to...
 

Get it? You miserable, ignorant 83-year old sack of krap!

Robertson has also said the land would "vomit out" those who disobeyed the commandments of the Old Testament.

OMG! Vomit out? Again with the vomit? Are you sure about that, Paddy?

Here are nine more controversial and colorful comments the evangelist has made that have gone viral:

On adultery

"Males have a tendency to wander a little bit. 

And what you want to do is make a home so wonderful he doesn't want to wander." 

Oh...let me jot that down...Males have a tendency to be fux...got it!

On a man with an Alzheimer's-stricken wife

"I know it sounds cruel, but if he's going to do something, he should divorce her and start all over again, but to make sure she has custodial care and somebody (is) looking after her."

Oh, Paddy...you’ve outdone yourself this time...I couldn’t possibly do better:


Asked what about the "Till death do us part" part of the marriage vow, he said Alzheimer's is "a kind of death."

Yeah, Paddy, we get it: Til the next one comes along who tickles my fancy.
 

Alzheimer’s? Tough break!...I’m outta here!

On Walt Disney World's "Gay Days"

"I would warn Orlando that you're right in the way of some serious hurricanes, and I don't think I'd be waving those flags in God's face if I were you ... It'll bring about terrorist bombs; it'll bring earthquakes, tornadoes, and possibly a meteor."

You’re a flag waver and a weatherman, too?

On the role of a man and a woman

"I know this is painful for the ladies to hear, but if you get married, you have accepted the headship of a man, your husband. Christ is the head of the household, and the husband is the head of the wife, and that's the way it is, period."

From the mouth of the truly polluted.


On feminism

"The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians."

Again, Paddy...You leave me speechless...I'm without speech.


On the devastating 2010 Haiti earthquake

"They were under the heel of the French, you know, Napoleon the third and whatever. And they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said, 'We will serve you if you will get us free from the prince.' True story.

And so the devil said, 'OK, it's a deal.' And they kicked the French out. The Haitians revolted and got themselves free. But ever since they have been cursed by one thing after another."

You crazy old man!


On homosexuality

"Many of those people involved in Adolf Hitler were Satanists. Many were homosexuals. The two things seem to go together."

So, you’re, like, forsaking them and screw the “be kind and treat them as you want to be treated” part of the Bible?

Wait! Lemme tear those pages out.


On assassinating Hugo Chavez

"You know, I don't know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it."

Right, Paddy...somehow I knew those words would be your “sacred” advice.

And how does the Bible suggest we do it?

An old-fashioned hanging?
 

Is this a dagger that I see before me,  the handle toward my hand?
 

Oh wait! That was done already.
 

A smothering? That kinda appeals to me...No bloody mess to clean.
 

Yeah....I vote for a smothering...where is that Chavez guy? 

On the tornadoes that ravaged the Midwest in 2012

"If enough people were praying, (God) would've intervened. You could pray. Jesus stilled the storm. You can still storms."

I can get my whole family to pray...that should do it!
 

Ready, gang? Itz a pray fest...Just for (You-Know-Who)...

Paddy...you’re a crazy old fart...too bad there are folks who actually take you seriously.