Friday, August 29, 2014

It would only cost 0.5% of the 1%’s wealth to
eliminate poverty nationwide.

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Don't We Realize We're The Laughing Stock?
Don't We Realize We Have An Unhealthy
Fascination With Guns?
Don't We Realize We Need Laws Regarding
The Weapons We Love So Much?
Don't We Realize The NRA Is Not Congress
And Does Not Make Laws And Is NOT
The Boss Over Us?
Don't We Realize We Are Becoming Numb
And Dispassionate No Matter How Horrific
The Massacre?
Don't We Realize We Shrugged Off The
Death Of 20 Innocent Children And Moved On?
Don't We Realize There Is NO Turning Back?
Don't We Realize Death Is So Final?
Don't We Realize We Will Never Again See
Those We've Lost Thru Gun Violence?
Don't We Realize We Are Being Totally Irresponsible?
People Around The World See A Violent America...


Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Moving to Canada?
Was it Something We Said?
It Has Nothing To Do With Us!
Just Keep Eating Our Hamburgers.
We want To Feed You,
We just want to keep more profit!
We Can!
By Moving the Corporation to CANADA!
You pay for Road Repairs, etc.
What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
All right for you, Burger King!
Just be careful you don't piss us off
and we decide to


Sunday, August 24, 2014

American Police Kill One Suspect Every Day

By Hunter

Friday Aug 22, 2014
Graph: 'Deaths from police shootings, latest available year': Japan 0, Britain 0, Germany 8, America 409
Oops! Is our bloody violence showing?

The problem is, you see, that America is exceptional.

And we're ever so charming, too.

The police in and around Ferguson have shot and killed twice as many people in the past two weeks (Mr Brown plus one other) as the police in Japan, a nation of 127m, have shot and killed in the past six years. Nationwide, America’s police kill roughly one person a day.

We are number one!...We are number one!...We...are...

This is not because they are trigger-happy but because they are nervous. The citizens they encounter have perhaps 300m guns between them, so a cop never knows whether the hand in a suspect’s pocket is gripping a Glock.

Is that a Glock in your frock?
Now, now, an armed society is a polite society—by all rights, all those guns should be making American law enforcement less likely to shoot people, because the American population practically polices itself, right? If anything, it's the absence of guns that causes law enforcement to shoot people.

Oh, is this your parking space? I'm sorry. Let me skadaddle out of it pronto! Hope I didn't make you late for an appointment...Seriously, is that a Glock?

In Nevada, a group of heavily armed militia members openly "took up sniper positions" against federal agents from bridges and hillsides, and the great wide swath of America decided that the law the officers were there to enforce, blocking the annexation of public-owned land by a freedom-loving rancher who considered himself the owner of whatever his cattle had crapped on that week, was too much bother.

You mean Bundy, that moron? Isn't it called an...anarchy...when everybody does what he wants...hear that Bundy? Take your cows and let them roam thru your living room! 
It's the jaywalkers who get shot, not the ragged-mustachioed wild-eyed trigger-happy freedom fighters who spend their nights wondering if tomorrow will bring the long-awaited revolution.

Or the young, black teenage boys wearing hoodies and armed with bags of Skittles!! Phuck, that'll scare the bejesus out of anybody!

Where was I?

Oh, right. First world countries seem to have an uncanny ability to not shoot people that we here in America just don't have.

Nor should we...don't forget, we're a free country...and kill we must.

We don't have it because we'd rather have lots of guns and shoot lots of people than have slightly fewer guns and shoot slightly fewer people, and even suggesting that we shoot slightly fewer people is often enough to cause some of your fellow Americans to threaten to shoot you.

We live in a veritable shooting gallery or boardwalk arcade and one person who has lit the way is none other than Uncle Wayne Lapierre. C'mon everybody, let's hear it for the one responsible for those twenty angels lost in Sandy Hook.

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Ohio: Cop Back at Work After Fatal
Shooting of Black Man in Wal-Mart

In Ohio, one of two police officers involved in the fatal shooting of a young black man inside a Wal-Mart in Beavercreek is back on the job.

When the officers confronted John Crawford, he was reportedly holding a BB gun which was for sale at the store.

The mother of Crawford’s two infant children told the local paper she was on the phone with Crawford and heard him say, "It’s not real," before police opened fire.

A special grand jury will convene in the case next month.

Why are so many "pro-lifers"

It took Bush the bastard, and Cheney the chump, to allow torture be introduced and practiced by deviates anxious to “earn” brownie points from their masters.

Have any of you seen Bush all slouched over looking ever-so-pleased with his pathetic self, confident the American people always knew he was the stupid one and it was all Cheney's fault?

How many times has Bush read to the little kiddies since 9/11? The phuck!

Sorry, you moron, being stupid is no excuse to allow your name be used for the evil that took place in our names.

And speaking of pure evil, how many patients waiting for their heart transplants did Cheney “bump” in order to get his without missing “a beat” in his methodical campaign of destruction of American ideals and values.

Oh, the horror!

Hey, Texas voters!

In an interview with Breitbart News, Missouri RNC executive director Matt Wills expressed outrage about the reports of voter registration booths popping up in Ferguson, Breitbart reports.

So, tell us, Mr. Wills, just what is it that outrages you? Are you as outraged as the parents of Michael Brown​?

“If that’s not fanning the political flames, I don’t know what is,” Wills said, “I think it’s not only disgusting but completely inappropriate.”

My, My, Mr Wills. Calm down. What political flames are being fanned? We can't have that! Mr. Wills getting his shorts all in a bunch!

Wills explained that the shooting death of Michael Brown was a tragedy for everyone.

Really, Mr. Wills? Everyone?

“This is not just a tragedy for the African American community, this is a tragedy for the Missouri community as well as the community of what we call America,” he said.

And whose America is it, Mr. Wills?

“Injecting race into this conversation and into this tragedy, not only is not helpful, but it doesn’t help a continued conversation of justice and peace.”

A continued conversation?
Would that be the same conversation we started almost 
      300 years ago?
That one?
And I'll bet this was an isolated occurrence, right, Mr. Wills?


I'm not pro-abortion...
I'm just anti-coat hanger.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Greetings, all...

Here I am again--Dot Calm's shadow--and I was re-posting goodies from Conservative Clown Car (a Facebook page if you care to Google it).

If you can't tell, it was like eating potato can't have just one.


Photo: Oh For The Good Old Days When Dan Quayle Was The Stupidist Thing The GOP Had To Offer

Photo: "Tea Party Has Compared Obama To Nazis So Many Times That Actual Nazis Are Offended And Threatening To Quit The Tea Party" - John Fugelsang
(This is in case you are a radio listener and were wondering what John Fugelsang looks like....)

Photo: Republicans need to face the facts.

Thanks to Jobs With Justice.

Photo: $1.2 Trillion in Corporate Welfare Lurks In the U.S. Budget @EricByler via @Politics_PR

Photo: It's The Republican Party That Is Screwed Up

Photo: Modern Conservatism Has Become A Sort Of Cult


Photo: Republican Logic

Photo: Colbert Is Such An Awesome Conservative...

Photo: Hmmm?  Maybe That Would Finally Make Republicans Happy?
(They made him look like Craig Ferguson...)

Photo: Boehner And Company Will Get To Jobs...When?

Photo: Wish Some Of Those Dumb Republicans Had Healthcare So They Could Have Their Heads Examined

Photo: Name three....okay just one...

Photo: Koch Bros...They're The Evil Thing

Photo: Excuse Him, He's Got Another Repub Mess To Clean Up

Photo: Agenda For The Next Board Meeting...

Photo: Sorry Governor Brownback, you can't blame this on Obama. This is all your own doing!
(Doesn't Sammy look sweet?)

Photo: Stop The Republican Hate!

Photo: Stop The GOP Madness!

Photo: You'll be safe it you stick with Fox News!

(Poor Piyush! Actually being held accountable....)

Photo: There's a severe penalty for trying to be educated in this country.

Photo: Top 12 reasons Americans are leaving the Republican Party

Nota Bene
The police department in Ferguson, Missouri, isn’t the only one using military-style equipment and tactics.

Propped up by millions of Homeland Security dollars and free military equipment through the Department of Defense, police departments across the country are becoming more and more militarized.

Over the last few decades, the number of SWAT teams and SWAT-style raids has skyrocketed, and they’re increasingly used to perform police not military tasks.

One correspondent recently headed to a rural town north of Los Angeles to understand how a bust that turned up a small amount of marijuana could leave an elderly man dead in his home

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

New Rule: Conservatives Who Love to Brag About American Exceptionalism Must Come Here to California

01/25/2014--New Rule: Conservatives who love to brag about American exceptionalism must come here to California, and see it in person

And then they should be afraid--very afraid.

Because while the rest of the country is beset by stories of right-wing takeovers in places like North Carolina, Texas and Wisconsin, California is going in the opposite direction and creating the kind of modern, liberal nation the country as a whole can only dream about.

And not only can't the rest of the country stop us--we're going to drag you along with us.

It wasn't that long ago that pundits were calling California a failed state and saying it was ungovernable.

But in 2010, when other states were busy electing whatever Tea Partier claimed to hate government the most, we elected a guy who actually liked it, Jerry Brown.

Since then, everything Republicans say can't or won't work--gun control, immigration reform, high-speed rail--California is making work.

And everything conservatives claim will unravel the fabric of our society--universal healthcare, higher taxes on the rich, gay marriage, medical marijuana--has only made California stronger.

And all we had to do to accomplish that was vote out every single Republican.

Without a Republican governor and without a legislature being cock-blocked by Republicans, a $27 billion deficit was turned into a surplus, continuing the proud American tradition of Republicans blowing a huge hole in the budget and then Democrats coming in and cleaning it up.

How was Governor Moonbeam able to do this?

It's amazing, really. did something economists call cutting spending AND raising taxes. I know, it sounds like some crazy science fiction story, but you see, here in California, we're not just gluten-free and soy-free and peanut-free, we're Tea Party free!

Virginia could do it, too, but they're too busy forcing ultrasounds on women who want abortions.

Texas could, but they don't because they're too busy putting Jesus in the science textbooks.

Meanwhile their state is so broke they want to replace paved roads with gravel.

I thought we had this road-paving thing licked in the 1930s, but not in Texas.

But hey, in Dallas you can carry a rifle into a Chuck E. Cheese, cause that's freedom.

Which is great, but it wasn't so great when that unregulated fertilizer plant in Waco blew up.

In California, when things blow up, it's because we're making a Jason Statham movie.

California isn't perfect, but it is in our nature from being on the new coast to be up for trying new things--and maybe that's why the right wingers are always hoping we fail.

On the campaign trail last year, Mitt Romney warned that if we didn't follow his conservative path, "America is going to become like Greece, or... Spain, or Italy, or... California."

And that was a big laugh line with Mormons, because Greece, Spain and Italy have some art and poetry and theatre, but nothing like Salt Lake City.

Yes, Mitt sure hates California, which is why he moved to San Diego.

To the house with the car elevator

What conservatives fear about California being a petri dish for the liberal agenda is well-founded

For example, as Obamacare gets implemented here much more successfully than predicted, the movement to just go all the way to a single payer system is gathering steam.

It actually passed the legislature twice, but was vetoed by Schwarzenegger, who argued it didn't go far enough to cover the children of that natural, beautiful love between a man and a cleaning lady.

In lots of areas, California seems to have decided not to wait around for the knuckle-draggers and the selfish libertarian states to get on board.

They can mock "European style democracies" all they want, we are building one here, and people like it--the same way when Americans come back from a vacation in Europe they all say the same thing: "Wow, you can see titties on the beach!"

But they also remark on the clean air, the modern, first world infrastructure, the functioning social safety net, and bread that doesn't taste like powdered glue.

And they wonder, "Why can't we get that here?" Unless they're Republicans, in which case they wonder, "How can people live like that?"

Well, swallow hard, guys, because California is eventually going to make all Americans live like that


Because we're huge.

The 12th largest economy in the world, the fifth largest agricultural exporter in the world, and of course number one in laser vaginal rejuvenation.

There's 40 million of us--so, for example, when California set a high mileage standard for any car sold in this state, Detroit had to make more fuel-efficient cars; we're just too big a slice of the market, and it would be too expensive to make one car for us, and another for shit-kickers who want something that runs on coal.

It's so ironic--the two things conservatives love the most, the free market and states rights--are the two things that are going to bend this country into California's image as a socialist fagtopia.

Maybe our constipated Congress can't pass gun control laws, but we just did.

Lots of 'em.

Because we don't give a shit about the NRA

Out here that stands for "Nuts, Racists, and Assholes."

So while the rest of America is debating whether it's a good idea to allow guns in bars or a great idea to allow guns in bars, California is about to ban lead bullets.

Which is a no-brainer, because bullets don't need lead, and lead kills birds and gets into the food supply of people who hunt their own food.

Which explains why Ted Nugent is such a raving lunatic.

While other state governments are working with Jesus to make abortion more miserable--because otherwise women would use it for weight loss--California is making it easier.

We actually have a guy dancing on the street corner dressed as the Statue of Liberty spinning a big arrow that says, "Abortions!"

And a new law will even let nurse practitioners perform abortions.

And dog groomers can aid assisted suicides by Skype.

California was the first state to legalize medical marijuana, our minimum wage is almost three dollars higher than the national rate, and in 10 years a third of our electricity will come from renewable energy and 15 percent of our cars will be electric.

And while Republicans in the rest of the country are threatening to deport every immigrant not named Ted Cruz, California just OK'd driver's licenses for undocumented aliens.

That's right, we're letting them drive cars--just like white people!

You Red Staters may ask, "How come they're lettin' Meskins drive?"

Well, it's because they have to get to their jobs.

You see, here in California we're embracing the modern world--we can't be worrying about all the nonsense that keeps Fox News viewers up at night when they should be in bed adjusting their sleep apnea mask.

Our state motto is, "We're Too Busy for Your Bullshit."

The bottom line is that we are moving the country's largest economy into a place where we can all be health-insured, clean air-breathin', gay-married, immigrant-friendly citizens who don't get shot all the time.

And my message to the rest of America is: do not resist.

Kneel before Zod!

California has been setting the trends in America for decades, from Silicon Valley to silicone tits, and it's not going to stop now.

We say jump--you say, "Please sell me new exercise clothes for jumping."

We said put cilantro in food, and dammit, you did, you put cilantro in food, even though neither one of us knows what it is.

Almond milk?

We just had some extra almonds and thought we'd fuck with you.

The enormous earlobe hole?

You're welcome.

We also invented the genius bar, where the kid with the enormous earlobe hole takes your MacBook in the back and fills it with animal pornography.
--Bill Maher, host of
HBO's Real Time with Bill Maher

Hands Up! Don't Shoot!

Ferguson police's attempts to demonize Michael Brown, the unarmed African-American teen killed by Officer Darren Wilson, may have hit a small snag.

The very video they released at the same time as they identified Wilson as the officer responsible for shooting Brown six times, including twice in the head, may show the opposite of what they intended. 

While it is difficult to be 100% certain, the video appears to show Brown purchasing some cigars, but lacking the money for the amount he wished to buy. 

Brown seems to  purchase some cigarillos, pay for them, attempt to buy more, then replace the ones he could not afford.

The confrontation between Brown and the clerk may have been because Brown impatiently reached across the counter. 

Perhaps it was wrong for Brown to shove the employee (it is impossible to know what words were exchanged) but this footage seems to exonerate him. 

It is important to note that Brown only shoved the clerk after he put his hands on him.

Dear Dot Calm:

Rick Perry, the Republican governor of Texas, has been indicted by a grand jury for coercion and abuse of power.

We worry a lot about the elections the GOP is planning to win--and we should be worried about those. But let's take a second to remember what these Republicans are doing while in office. A second investigation is under way on Wisconsin's Scott Walker over illegal campaign coordination, in New Jersey, Chris Christie is still doing his best to make the Bridgegate scandal go away, and in Georgia, Nathan Deal spent millions in taxpayer money settling lawsuits with former employees of the state ethics commission.

You and I know what these guys do when they are given the chance to "govern"--we can only imagine what happens if we let more folks like them get elected.

If it's the Psychic Network, why do they
need a phone number?
Robin Williams

Why Can't I Own A Canadian?
september 16, 2012--Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.

The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan,