Wednesday, November 06, 2024

Non-resistance is NOT the same as passivity or giving up!

In my last post, I suggested that we not resist yesterday's catastrophe.

It happened, it was decisive, and we will have to live with it.

Just like we've had to admit that the least "Christlike" Christians are in fact Christians--and typical ones, to boot--we have to admit that we as a nation are not "better than this." We ARE this. The sooner we come to terms with this sad, sobering fact, the better.

We don't have to like it or approve of it any more than we have to force ourselves to eat broken glass and enjoy it, but we have to admit it and see it for what it is because it IS what it is. 

Alas, it is what we are.

Fighting what's happened is like punching the tar baby--it only besmirches and exhausts us. It does nothing to support our beliefs in everything good or advance our causes to promote the common good.

It only tires us out and wears us down.

So I say: don't resist.

Accept and allow what has happened to happen. It's already happened, and we can't change it.

Accept and allow what will happen to happen. It's going to happen, and I seriously doubt we'll be able to change it.

But that doesn't mean giving up.

In the coming darkness ahead, each of us will see opportunities to be the light for ourselves and the next person--and we will do it.

We will find ways we can help each other because we're woke--we see other people as people, and we habitually do everything we can to uplift others and soothe their suffering.

So let's keep our eyes open and act with love and kindness every chance we get. If that's not anathema to maga and everything it and tr*mp and the republicans stand for, I don't know what is.

And let's keep our eyes open for opportunities to throw just a little sand in the maga machine to grind its gears for a while.

maga craves dystopia, so let's give them what we can of it right now.

STOP buying from fascists, like amazon, home depot, goya, mainstream newspapers (including wapo, nyt, wsj), cable TV, cable news, ...anything corporate.

Let's stop all discretionary spending we can--not only should we save our money because we're likely to need it, but let's keep every penny we can out of the pockets of the oligarchs. Get your passport ready to go, but don't travel for fun.

If you can grow any of your own food, grow it. If you can join a co-op, join it. If you can patronize a farmer's market, patronize it. Move your money out of the corporations and into your own backyard and into the pockets of those who need and appreciate it most and who provide the greatest good for your dollars.

If you have investments you can move out of the stock market and into bonds, do it now--especially because tr*mp will crash the market when he gets back in.

Remember: compliance is non-resistance, and malicious compliance is still compliance!

Slow-rolling, foot-dragging, oversharing...get creative. Malicious compliance is not actually malicious, and it can be a lot of fun!

I have a nosy relative who asks me questions that are really none of their business. I know they have an almost non-existent short-term memory and even less of an attention span, so I amuse myself by answering their questions in way more detail than they ever cared to know--I know they won't remember a word, and they'll be sorry they ever asked. But hey--I didn't resist. I complied.

Someone I knew a long time ago told me a story of when he had to go to an IRS audit. I don't know how apocryphal the story is, but it's a funny story and a great illustration of what I mean by malicious compliance.

Dude didn't contest the audit appointment or rail or rage or complain--he did not resist. He complied, and he went in with a plan. He stopped showering a week before his appointment with the IRS agent. He stopped brushing his teeth three days before his appointment. He bagged up all of his receipts and paperwork into three large garbage bags--he actually knew where each receipt and paper was, but he knew it wouldn't look that way to the agent. He slouched into his appointment dressed like a hayseed with a toothpick hanging out of his mouth. Whenever he spoke to the agent, he paused several seconds before speaking and drawled the slowest, thickest, drawliest drawl ever drawled. When the agent asked him for this or that receipt or paper, he'd dive into his trash bags, shuffle and ruffle around, take as long as he could until he could tell that the agent was about to lose his patience, and then pull out the right piece and hand it to the agent "triumphantly." He went on with this charade for a good three hours, as he tells it, until the agent had finally had enough, "blessed" his tax returns, and sent him on his way.

So let's all keep malicious compliance in mind going forward into this impending long, dark, ugly night. Don't resist, but don't give up. Don't fight, but don't be passive, either. Comply, but don't make it easy for them.

Let's make getting through this disaster as easy on ourselves as we can so that we can get through it as fast as we can. Let's take care of ourselves and each other the best we can so that we can start building that better society right here in our own little lives and circles. 

Hopefully, there's a more just, loving, egalitarian, non-capitalist America--and world--on the other side of this nightmare.

More lessons to learn...if we survive

It looks like we as a nation have more lessons to learn...if we survive.

The sad part is that what we've just decisively created won't just damage us--it will damage the entire world and the planet herself because, like it or not, we lead in many ways that other nations follow.

Women's bodies.

Every marginalized community--people of color, LGBTQ+, people with disabilities, anyone with a disadvantage that can be exploited or used against them in any way.

Our health care system.

Our education system.

Our economy.

Our ecosystem.

Our children and their future.

Ukraine.

Gaza.

Jews.

Our media, which were already fascist enough to do more harm than good.

Every principle that Americans hold dear.

Everyone and everything will suffer.

Everyone and everything is now a commodity--a plaything for the rich and the theocrats.

Everything is now just a mere transaction--nothing matters.

American justice is dead--the criminals are in charge now.

American sanity is defunct--the lunatics are running the asylum now.

American democracy is dead--tr*mp will never leave "office" while he lives, and he'll surely pass the reins to one of his equally damaged spawn for them to reign for the rest of their life.

Welcome to Gilead, Project 2025, and 1984 all rolled into one.

rfk, jr, wants to antivax us to death; elon wants to impoverish us to death; and tr*mp is happy to let them, the republicans, our adversaries, and whoever else wants to do us all to death. The only thing worse than a narcissist losing is a narcissist winning. The revenge tour will be staggering.

They're not joking about putting us in trauma and austerity--the cruelty is the point. It helps them oppress us.

I can't believe that this is actually what a majority of American voters really wanted, but here it is.

As I've said before, they should get to live in the dystopia of their dreams, but they shouldn't have the right to drag the rest of us down into hell with them.

But they've done it, and here we are.

The damage that will be done will be incredible. Many of us will die needlessly, just like during tr*mp's mishandling of the pandemic. He's not kidding when he says it's going to be a bloodbath--in this case, it will be a bloodbath because he won.

It's going to be worse than any of us can imagine.

I guess we as a species still have a lot of lessons to learn--if we even survive this.

Once a nation gives up its democracy and hands itself over to a dictator, it is incredibly difficult to recover that democracy.

Just ask Alexei Navalny.

Or ask anyone who thought anointing Hugo Chavez or Fidel Castro dictator was a good idea.

Friends, we are in for one hell of a bumpy ride. This is going to take decades to recover from if we even can. 

Although this sure wasn't the timeline I was hoping for, I still believe that, somehow, even though I sure can't see how, it must be the best one for humanity's growth. 

Maybe this is what we as a species need to finally come to terms with the fact that we are one. There is only energy, and we are all just different aspects and facets of it. Maybe this is how we stop othering and being othered.

So here's what I suggest.

We have a few months of grace--let's enjoy them to the fullest and make lovely, warm memories that will support us down the road.

And as I've said earlier, turn off the news. Just turn it off. Its only purpose will be to frighten and harass us, so let's please just focus on the good we experience and can create around us. Let's focus locally and do the best we can to make our own little worlds as good and as bright as they can be.

We're going to have to be patient. I don't know how long it's going to take for the system to eat its own, but it will. Everyone who is celebrating today will become fodder for that inexorable machine's deglutition--no one is pure enough, so it's just a matter of time. Like I said, it may take decades, so let's gird our loins and prepare for a long, uphill road ahead.

It's going to be ok.

We are going to get through this.

It's not going to be fun or comfortable or pretty, but we will eventually come out the other side better, stronger, and wiser...if we survive. 

So don't give up.

And, believe it or not, don't fight it--what we resist persists.

The only way out is through, and the fastest, easiest way through will be the path of the most love and the least resistance.

We can't change what others do to us, but we decide how to use what happens. We can choose to be traumatized, or we can choose love and joy.

Let's MAKE this the best possible timeline for humanity every way we can. Let's do our best to love ourselves and each other, step away from the churn, and step into the flow. 

Keep the faith and hang in there--we are all in this together.

Much love to you and yours!

Tuesday, November 05, 2024

The mystery of maga--crime, punishment, and acceptable behavior

It mystifies me what maga considers to be crimes deserving the death sentence:

  • Telling the truth as supported by actual evidence
  • Believing that it is no one else's right to decide what another does with their body
  • Understanding and working within the bounds of causal reality
  • Understanding and using evidence and actual experts to make decisions
  • Making life better for ordinary Americans, like lowering their taxes, raising their pay, increasing their health benefits, reducing their medication costs, improving their access to health care and other services, and improving their environment with cleaner air, water, and food
  • Feeding, clothing, educating, and loving humans after they've been born
  • Working with rather than against our allies
  • Working against rather than with our adversaries

Meanwhile, maga adamantly praises and supports the opposite of these "crimes." 

They love them their lies. 

They can't run their own lives, but they insist on running ours (not that they can! - but they insist they can and should, so how dare we not comply?). 

They are unmoored from reality, and they stick their fingers in their ears and scream LA-LA-LA-LA-I-CAN'T-HEAR-YOU when confronted by actual evidence and expertise. 

They want only billionaires to have any money and gladly give up their own money to support this cause. 

They WANT their lives to be harder--they embrace unnecessary hardship and suffering. 

They think only the pre-born--even the ones too deformed to survive--are worth supporting, and the rest of us on the planet deserve to suffer and die horrible deaths. 

They hate those who support us and love only those who want to destroy us--and they have the nerve to call themselves "patriots." 

They worship the words "Constitution" and "bible" while hating and abhorring the actual contents of those documents--neither of which they've read (or understand if they have in fact attempted to read them).

They think only a convicted felon intent on committing more crime will protect them from crime, only a serial and convicted sexual assaulter who sees women as "less than human" will protect their women, only a grifter will treat them fairly and cut them a break, only a thief will protect their money, only a sociopath who uses rather than loves his own spawn and who told his nephew to let his disabled son die will protect their children, only a self-serving traitor is patriotic enough to represent them, only a dictator will set them free, only a sociopathic narcissist loves them and is worth loving, and only an incurious, uneducated, ignoramus with dementia is omniscient enough to be their king. 

And yet, they go to the best doctors they can find when they are sick, bring their cars to the best mechanics they can find when they break down, and use the best contractor or electrician or roofer or plumber they can find when their homes are in need.

Clearly, they do not hear themselves when they speak or see what they do when they act.

How do their brains not explode under the pressure of all the cognitive dissonance?

It's a mystery.

Friday, November 01, 2024

Would it bother them?

I have maga friends and relatives, whom I love dearly and refuse to give up on. I support them the best I can. But sometimes, I wonder: do they care that, if their leader got his way, he'd lock me up, maybe even murder me, as an "animal"--an "enemy within"? Would it bother them? Or are they just too far gone? 

The narcissists I know going maga I understand--I've always seen it as unfortunate but not surprising, given the shame and never-enoughness they've lived their lives steeped in.

But I had always thought of one of these magas as an intelligent, rational, reasonable person, even if we were not in the same political party. We used to be able to have the kind of political discussions that Joe Walsh and other old-school republicans lament the loss of--where we all understand the common problems and bring our own perspectives of which should be prioritized and how to solve them for the common good.

I miss those discussions, too, especially with this particular maga. 

What I really want to know is what happened to them.

How did they go from "reasonable" to "red hat"?

What made them give in to all the fear, hate, and shame?

This person isn't a spring chicken. I know a lot about how they grew up and how damaging their birth family was. I thought for sure, having known them for decades, that they were much farther along on their healing journey than seems compatible with joining the maga cult. 

But there they are--red hat and all.

And I am mystified. How did I miss the signs that they'd go this way? It makes me question my own judgment and wonder whether confiding in them in the past was a big mistake.

And I wonder: if their leader got his way and disappeared me, would it bother them? 

Or do they, too, see me only as an animal, the enemy within, worthy only of being squashed like a noxious bug?

Thursday, October 24, 2024

Now is the time to turn off the news!

I know it sounds crazy, but now is the time to turn off the news.

I mean it.

Turn off cable news.

Scroll past political videos.

Play games instead of doom-scrolling on social media.

Don't even bother with newspapers unless someone hands you the funnies.

Just do it...and I'll tell you why.

Our media are owned by a handful of billionaires--that's why.

They have two goals right now. One goal is to install a christofascist authoritarian dictatorship. Failing that, their other goal is to make as much money through ads and clicks as possible between now and the announcement of Kamala Harris as our next President.

Thing is, they win either way.

If tr*mp wins, they win because they get to dismantle our democracy and execute Project 2025 via vance (they'll surely eject tr*mp via the 25th Amendment should he get that far).

If Harris wins, they win because she will continue strengthening our economy, which, thanks to President Biden, is currently the strongest among the developed nations'.

So they can't lose.

One indirect way they can win is by convincing you that your vote doesn't count because tr*mp will cheat, and republicans will rig or overturn the election--so the fascist media are hoping to sell you learned helplessness so that you don't fight for your democracy either now or when they decide they're ready to step in and burn it down.

Another indirect way they can win is by overloading you with churn and chaos so that you tune out of politics permanently and, by becoming a low-information voter or an apathetic non-voter, hand yourself, your future, your family, and your and your family's money over to them in perpetuity.

Don't give in.

Just go vote--early if you can--and continue to donate and call and volunteer and drive someone to the polls on Election Day. 

Just keep doing what you can to ensure that we win and keep our democracy, our lives, and our prosperity by voting in numbers too large for maga to mess with.

And turn off the churn, the chaos, the threats, the fears, and the doom.

It's not helping anyone...

...except the greedy billionaires.

They sure af won't help us, so why taf help them?

Billionaires wouldn't, as Frank McCourt said in "Angela's Ashes," give you the steam off their piss.

So keep the faith, pour yourself a nice drink, and switch off the media for now. If you feel compelled to grab your phone, use it to play games.

And I'll see you at President Harris's inauguration.



Wednesday, September 11, 2024

I just saw the best comment on the Internet...

In response to the recent publication of the previous first spouse's "memoir," a commenter mentioned the tasteless, ugly murder scene they made of the White House Christmas decorations one year, saying that it's time for a man to decorate the White House for Christmas.

I couldn't agree more!

Can't wait to see what Doug comes up with as the first First Gentleman! 

After THE WORST debate EVER, why aren't the media SCREAMING for the gop to replace tr*mp?

Many in the online news media decried President Biden's debate performance as the worst ever in the history of presidential debates...until they saw tr*mp get his sad, bloated, orange arse handed to him by VP Harris last night.

These are the same media who have relentlessly sane-washed, reasonable-washed, patriot-washed, and otherwise normalized and apologized for tr*mp since he blustered onto the national political stage in 2015.

So, now, inquiring minds want to know: given how hysterically they shrieked for President Biden, THE most effective president we've had in living memory, to step down from running for a second term in 2024, why aren't they even remotely beginning to call for tr*mp--who has been convicted of sexual assault, financial and tax fraud, and 34 felony counts in the state of New York that ultimately relate to election interference (not to mention the espionage and election interference cases that he has yet to be tried for)--to step down from running for president this November?

Why, media?

Why aren't you screaming for the gop to replace the angry, deranged, obviously mentally ill old man?

Why?

Inquiring minds want to know!

Wednesday, August 07, 2024

Winning with Walz

Just wanted to pop in here and say how thrilled I am that our soon-to-be Madam President Kamala Harris has chosen Governor Tim Walz as her running-mate. 

I can't imagine anyone more every-man, plain-spoken, or practical than Tim Walz.

I've been over the moon since the announcement and just wanted to share.

Momala got herself some Big Dad Energy on the ticket, and I am here for it.

WE'RE NOT GOING BACK.

Vote Blue 2024 and forevermore!

Monday, July 22, 2024

j.d.vance is SO stupid...

 ...How stupid is he?

j.d. vance is so stupid that he believes that Democrats who are outraged by the betrayal of the best, most progressive president in living memory by the milquetoast fascist wing of the party will opt to vote against the last and only chance we have to save our failing democracy by voting for the traitorous, treasonous, felonious, rapey, theocratic autocratic fascist dictator-for-life-wannabe that is tfg.

j.d. vance is so stupid that he thinks that the rest of us are as stupid as he is.

He really thinks we'd vote for project 2025--that we'd vote to give up voting, our rights, our money, our planet, and our very lives.

j.d. vance is sofa king stupid.

I don't often call people "stupid" anymore, but when the shoe fits....

Who will the democrats run next?

Let's assume that, after their shameful treatment of President Biden, the democratic party nominates Kamala Harris in his stead. 

Then, because tfg does not see other humans as fully human, sees people of color as less-than, and sees people with uteruses as r*pe bait, let's suppose he Gish gallops all over her and stalks her in the debate.

Then, as a result, he completely throws her off her game, and she comes off looking like a shrill, uninformed, weak, estrogen-poisoned, irrational hose beast.

And after this disastrous debate, the democratic party discards her, like Biden before her--not because she's too old but because she's too blAAAAAAAAAAAAAck and too female (without even the luxury of being decades into post-menopause like Hillary).

Then who will they run?

And will they apologize to Joe Biden for discarding him for one bad night?

Sunday, July 21, 2024

Someday--NOT 2024, obvi--I'd like to see Hunter Biden run for president as a convicted felon...

...just to phuque with republicans, who full-throatedly support their soon-to-be-convicted felon.

Well, phuque: the weak have won the battle.

Whatever we do, let's not give them the war.

VOTE BLUE, NO MATTER WHO.

Which is worse: weak democrats or weak republicans? Both seem intent on destroying America....

Here's what I've noticed...

Weak republicans support tr*mp; weak democrats abandon President Biden.

In both cases, the weak are too weak to support the strong--both only support the weak.

Ain't that somethin'?

AOC and Bernie are strong.

They both understand that President Biden is the most progressive, most effective president we've had in living memory.

Both are old enough to remember what this country did to Hillary--who was eminently qualified, caring, and capable--when she ran.

Both know what the country would do to Kamala if she attempted to run in Joe's stead--not that there is any mechanism for her to do so.

Both know that putting Joe back in the White House in 2024 puts Joe's administration, which has performed perhaps not perfectly but exceptionally well compared even to other Democratic administrations, and Kamala back in the White House in 2024.

Both know that putting Joe back in the White House in 2024 will give him and Kamala the chance to grow her role and showcase her abilities, thus potentially lining her up for the presidency in 2028.

Both know that weak democrats play into fascist media narratives and craving for chaos.

Both know that weak democrats are as fascist at heart as the weak republicans are.

Like weak republicans, weak democrats only care about their own individual money and power--America be damned.

Fortunately, even though the weak are loud--of course they are! They're panicking, as weak ones do--there are many more of us strong Americans. Strong Democrats and even strong Republicans who want America to remain the liberal democracy that it has been for decades. Strong Democrats and even strong Republicans who want to see more fairness and equality, more accountability for the rich and corporate elites, and more power in the hands of those who are too often marginalized and thus who need it most.

Stand with the strong ones, friends, and for the love of Pete, don't fear the weak ones. There are way more of us, and we have way more to offer.

Sunday, July 07, 2024

The media are NOT our friends

Am I the only one who notices--and am shocked by--the fact that the media are NOT calling for the treasonous, traitorous rapey convicted FELON who lusts to be a lifelong fascist dictator responsible for destroying our democracy, economy, environment, and society to STEP DOWN?

Friday, July 05, 2024

Billionaires are not our friends...and, apparently, senator warner isn't, either

mark warner is a rich man.

Rich, rich, rich.

He has more than enough money to insulate him from the consequences of his actions.

So government is just a fun little game to him.

He doesn't give a shit that you, your wife, your sister, your daughter will lose bodily autonomy if tfg gets back in.

He doesn't give a shit that you or your LGBTQ+ friend, neighbor, or family member will lose the right to exist in public if tfg gets back in.

He doesn't give a shit how many POC cops extrajudicially execute.

He doesn't give a shit how badly maga trashes the economy, the environment, or society.

And he can skip town before the executions start.

So, yeah, he wants to hand the election to tfg.

Why? 

Because, to him, it's all just a game...and phuque the rest of us...the ones who don't have the money or power to escape the consequences of his actions.

Ain't that just something?

Just because all the billionaires hate democracy & lust for a tr*mp fascist dictatorship, DON'T PANIC

Have you noticed how hard the "liberal" media are hitting President Biden post-debate?

Every one from ny times to wapo to msnbc are piling on President Biden--the onslaught of headlines is fast, thick, unrelenting, and furious.

Remember, friends: NOT ONE of these media outlets IS liberal.

NOT ONE.

EVERY SINGLE ONE is owned by BILLIONAIRES.

BILLIONAIRES ARE NOT OUR FRIENDS.

They are NOT pro-democracy.

They are NOT pro-America.

They are certainly NOT pro-life.

All they are is PRO-BILLIONAIRE. 

Yes, some of them employ one or more liberal public-facing personalities.

Why?

Because they know that liberals won't give the hate and bigotry that right-wing media serve up the time of day.

They know that none of us would ever voluntarily watch fox propaganda as if it were actually truthful or informative.

They know that the only way to get us to consume their content is to give us content that we will actually consume.

They do it to build trust.

It's a hook to reel us in.

And then they lower the hammer.

Friends, they saw President Biden's debate performance as their chance to lower the boom on us.

Don't buy it.

I've got Biden's back because I stand with American democracy--I stand with all of us.

Do you?

Friday, June 28, 2024

Loser republicans won't take the L; winner Democrats won't take the W. WTF? GET A GRIP, AMERICA!

Is it my imagination, or are both political parties wildly delusional?

We're all way too familiar with the mass delusion that is republicanism: no matter how egregiously they lose, or how stupid their statements are, or how cruel and harmful their policies are, they refuse to take the loss.

I posit that Democrats suffer from a delusion that's almost equally harmful to this country: no matter how massive of a margin they win by, or how capable and effective their candidate is, or how beneficial to the nation their policies are, they won't take the win.

By refusing to be assertive enough to take the win and act like they won, Democrats meekly hand their victories to republicans--effectively snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.

Friends, this is NOT the time to be meek.

This is NOT the time to refuse to take the win.

Joe Biden has been the most effective president in living memory.

There is no comparison.

There is literally no mechanism--no path--to replace him with anyone at this point.

Further, there is absolutely no reason to even if it were possible--and it's not.

President Biden is a good and decent man who cares about the welfare of this nation and has been extremely effective as president.

It's time to ask yourself...

Do you really want to hand America over to tr*mp and his ilk for the rest of your life?

Do you really want yourself, your children, your grandchildren, your friends, your family, your loved ones to live in a theocratic fascist authoritarian dictatorship?

Do you really want America to treat people born with functioning uteruses worse than the taliban does?

Do you really want America to outlaw the public existence of LGBTQ+?

Do you really want to declare open season for cops to execute people of color?

Do you really want your government to execute Democrats? Muslims? Jews? Buddhists? Atheists? Anyone? Everyone?

Do you really approve of the extreme court? Do you really want to eradicate law and order in this country?

Do you really want to destroy the environment? The economy? America's status as a first-world nation? 

Do you really want to take America back not hundreds but thousands of years--back to the dark ages of hatred, bigotry, and ignorance?

No?

Then put on your grown-up pants, calm the everlovin' F down, and take the effin' win: President Biden has been an outstanding president, and he will continue to be an outstanding president for four more years if we don't panic and hand the nation over to tr*mp.

Got it? 

GOOD.

Thursday, May 30, 2024

TFG FOUND GUILTY ON ALL 34 FELONY COUNTS

FINALLY.

Finally, tfg is being held accountable in a court of law for SOME of his lifetime of crimes: a jury of his NY peers found him GUILTY on all 34 counts of falsifying business records in order to illegally benefit his 2016 presidential campaign. Falsifying business records is a misdemeanor in NY; falsifying those records in order to commit or hide another crime--such as cheating on taxes, such as far exceeding the legal limit for campaign donations, and such as unduly influencing an election by hiding damaging facts from the voting public--is a felony. 

donald jailbird tr*mp is GUILTY.

As a felon, will he lose his right to vote?

As a felon, will he lose his eligibility for a security clearance like any normal person would? (He should never have received a security clearance in the first place with his multi-million-dollar debt, especially considering how much of that he owes to our adversaries. Remember eric tr*mp boasting that they get all their money from russia? Pepperidge Fahms remebahs.)

As a felon, will he lose his right to own firearms?

As a felon, he should lose his position on the presidential ballot--especially after all the whining, lying, sleeping in court, disrespect to the rule of law, stochastic terrorism, contempt of court, espionage, treason, ...

I could go on, but it's time to take a shot of Fireball in sheer relief that, for once, the American justice system worked.

It's doubtful that tfg will receive prison time, but we can hope, can't we?

Wednesday, April 03, 2024

Would it be wrong to want to gather up all the irrational, gullible people who are so damaged that they eagerly believe hateful nonsense--specifically, the ones who are hell-bent on harming or preferably killing the rest of us, even though they never met us and don't know us and even though none of us has ever even remotely done anything to harm any of them except exist and not be exactly like them in every way--and use a really juicy conspiracy theory to bait them into their own permanent, inescapable unless they come to their senses but fully stocked, fully survivable bubble where you can show them imagery of some of us with our faces glumly pressed against the outside peering in and let them press a button that forces innocent women they don't know and have never met and will never meet to carry non-viable pregnancies and die in childbirth and forces innocent, harmless LGBTQ+ people to have wrong relationships or wrong gender surgery and use the wrong bathroom and be bullied and killed and gives mass shooters with locked and inexhaustibly loaded AR-15s in each hand as many terrified schoolchildren as they want to blow to bits and lets cops shoot as many peacefully sleeping unarmed black people as they want and show them imagery of us screaming and bleeding and dying and denounce them for being hateful and evil and hurting and killing all those poor, innocent people "inside" the bubble (but who are all really outside the bubble living happy, free, peaceful, prosperous lives without all the societal detritus that trapped themselves inside the bubble) while still letting them press the button to their hearts' content while nothing bad is really happening to the rest of us but the people who are actually inside the bubble don't know that it's all just an act for their benefit and really think they are hurting and killing all of us who scare them because we're not exactly like them in every way so that they can live the rest of their lives being every bit as happy as they're capable of being, getting everything they ever thought they wanted and thinking they're "hurting all the right people" but not actually causing anyone any harm?

Monday, October 16, 2023

Who should play sports, dear Martina Navratilova?

Dear Martina Navratilova:

I follow you on twitter and very often agree with you. For the most part, I find you socially progressive and engaging, and I find your posts to be sharp and refreshing. However, it seems to me that you have taken a less egalitarian view on who should play sports by denouncing the participation of transgender people. 

I love you, but I beg to differ.

For context, although I am athletic, sports is not my entire life. I can think of a million and one things more important than letting or preventing (or inspecting the genitals of) someone who really wants to play sports. 

To me, it's just a game, so let everyone who wants to have a go--why not?

I realize that sports is your whole life and your whole world, so thanks in advance for hearing me out if in fact you choose to.

The bottom line is this: being transgender is not an automatic advantage in sports. 

My namesake, Dot Calm, was a teeny tiny little lady, and when she was a kid, she ran faster than every other kid in the class. Boy or girl, tall or short, teeny tiny little Dot Calm could leave them in the dust. So why wasn't she an Olympic gold medal sprinter? Because she absolutely hated sports, sweating, running--all of it. These days, the family has a not-yet-transitioned transgender lady friend who can't run nearly as fast as Dot Calm's daughter, despite being nearly a foot taller and quite muscular compared to the daughter--who even as an adult is often mistaken for being a little kid because of her size and build. In short, Dot Calm's family has a genetic advantage for sports generally and for running specifically, but they all pursued careers as highly educated professionals--as did the transgender lady who's friends with the daughter. So please understand that there's a lot more to sports than just height and muscle mass.

I personally am on the autism spectrum. Like Dot Calm's family, I too am small and slight compared to the national average. I use my size--or lack thereof--to my advantage: I am QUICK. I have preternaturally fast reflexes and proprioception that extends beyond and below what I can see. I also have the ability to hyperfocus for long periods of time without perceiving potential distractions. So should autistic people like me who have natural advantages also be banned from sports? 

Dear Martina Navratilova, who should play sports?

Should we ban everyone with a natural advantage of some sort--like muscle mass or amazing reflexes or genius intellect or hyperfocus--from playing sports?

Should we just ban everyone whom you personally happen not to understand and therefore to fear?

Should we measure everyone who wants to play sports against national and world averages and just ban those who fall outside the 25% mark? The 10% mark? The 5% mark?

Should only "normies" play sports?

I'm old enough to remember when Billie Jean King beat Bobby Riggs, who was born male with a biological male's muscle mass, in tennis. She was 29, and he was 55, as I recall. So was that match unfair because she was so much younger than he was--should we only let people play who are within 5 years of age of each other? 1 year?

Please, dear Ms. Navratilova, take a step back, and take a deep breath.

I know sports is important to you, but please remember: it's just a game.

Really.

Literally.

Remember, there are far more autistic people in the world than transgender people. So please--let everyone who wants to play sports play to the best of their ability instead of looking for new people to marginalize and new ways to isolate, denounce, and condemn those who are already isolated and marginalized.

Let's use sports to build community and acceptance of marginalized people.

Thanks for listening!

- Dot Calm's shadow

Sunday, June 21, 2020

Medicare lurves hospice at home--a Happy Father's Day update

Greetings, dear ones!

I hope you and yours are doing well this Father's Day. I am pleased to report that my dad and I are both doing well, albeit both in desperate need of haircuts.

It's been quite a journey to get from my last update to today's update, so I'm going to dive right in.

So, to start this installment of how much Medicare luuuuurves hospice at home, let's review:

Medicare pays for adult diapers and disposable bed pads but not butt cream or butt wipes--so they apparently expect you to put clean diapers on dirty butts, and they apparently think diaper rash is kewl. And you'd do well to maintain your own stock of adult diapers and disposable bed pads in case the hospice people have any delays in placing the orders or the orders get delayed because pandemic.

Medicare covers no more than 3 hours per week of a nursing aide to come in and bed-bathe your loved one
--meaning, if you're lucky and your loved one is sick enough, they'll come in Monday, Wednesday, and Friday to clean your loved one. The rest of the time, it's up to you.

So, again, YOU are paying for and providing the facility, utilities, cooking, laundry, feeding, and personal care the rest of the time.

If you have an urgent health concern for your loved one and you need to call hospice first, as they instruct, it may be hours before one of their nurses come out to see you. And if your loved one is in the hospital for 24 hours, hospice will discharge you, so you'll have to re-sign all of the intake paperwork again (not onerous but something to be aware of). So, depending on how urgent urgent is, you may just want to call 911 and tell the hospice people about it all later.

As I've said before, Medicare really only covers a limited (translation: minuscule) amount of comfort care for your loved one--unless you want to dope him or her up with morphine (please don't!). If you're concerned for your loved one's overall health and safety, Medicare literally cannot care less.

Example du jour: bed alarms.

My dad--bless him!--got to feeling so well after about two months of hospice care at home that he forgot he couldn't walk just yet. So he kept trying to get out of bed by himself--a total no-no unless someone else was around. So I caught him and stopped him a couple or three times...and I found him on the floor a couple or three times.

Fortunately, he always climbs out--never falls--so he never gets injured. Thank Atheist God for small (or huge!) favors!

But still...!

He was trying to escape--as I call it to be funny (he wasn't)--at all hours of the day and night (remember: I work full time, and it's just me here, especially during the pandemic except for the private CNA who'd come in two hours per day).

My dad isn't exactly big, but he weighs more than I do, and he'd been pretty much dead weight when I tried to lift him. And between his nighttime coughing and my increasing worry about finding him on the floor in the morning, I was starting to lose sleep in a serious way. (And did I mention that I work full time? Because I work full time. And I was taking care of my dad all day while I was working and right up until about an hour before I'd go to bed every night.)

So for my own sanity and his safety, I called up the hospice people and asked about getting him a bed clip, as my cousin--who took care of both of her parents single-handedly--suggested.

Hospice had never heard of no bed clip, so I asked about the kind of bed alarms that hospitals use.

Oh no--Medicare doesn't cover those!

Based on their reaction, you'd have thought I was blithely demanding a diamond studded platinum bedpan.

Honestly--what does Medicare expect people to do????? I would really love to know!

So I went online and ordered a bed alarm with a battery AND an AC adapter for ~$65 including shipping (you know the adapter is extra).

And I hooked it up and breathed a sigh of relief until I ended up having to run into his room several times over the next however many weeks (honestly--it's all a blur at this point) to stop him from climbing out of bed at all hours of the day and night.

And I started fussing at him about how he NEEDS to let me SLEEP because if I don't sleep, I can't work--I can't ethically charge my company to pay me when I'm less effective on the job than a box of rocks. And if I get fired, then I lose the house, and then we're both out on the street living in a cardboard box, so then where would he be? For sheer self-preservation, it was in my dad's best interests to let me sleep.

And I started honest-to-goodness nagging him, which is totally not my nature, "What are you NOT going to do tonight? You're NOT going to wake me up? That's RIGHT!"

But the Parkinson's and Charcot Marie Tooth issues my dad is dealing with screw up his sleep/wake enough that he doesn't always know he's not fully awake--he thinks he's awake, but he's disoriented. And you have to talk with him for a few minutes for him to wake all the way up and reorient himself. And then he's fine--just like he's been my whole life.

So, one fine Tuesday night, he started hollering for me at 3:30 in the morning. There was literally nothing I could do for him, so I went in and (again, totally not my nature, but I was trying to make an impression) yelled at him that there was nothing I could do for him, he was literally killing me (well, that was true), and I couldn't work full time and take care of him full time and stay with him all night and not sleep because I can't charge my work for work I cannot do and then I will lose my job and the house and then we're both out on the street without a dime because I cashed out my retirement to build his suite, so I have no such savings. "I love you, but I can't keep you company all night because you're lonely--I HAVE to SLEEP to survive so I can take care of you, so GO TO SLEEP!!!"

By this time, I had already lost like 6% of my total body weight because I was either working or taking care of him instead of getting something myself to eat. I COULD NOT both not eat and not sleep. He was literally running me into the ground, and it was a race between which of us would land in the hospital first.

That Wednesday, I had reached the end of my rope, which I'd already tied so many knots into so I could hang on that there was nothing left: I had to sleep. Even though by then I wasn't sleeping well from the noise and the worry, I had to give myself a fighting chance.

So I camped out and teleworked from his suite and kept him awake all day, hoping he'd be so exhausted that he'd sleep like a baby that night.

I even recorded myself yelling into my cell phone: "Hey! You!! WAKE UP!!!" so I could play it to him if he started dozing off. Eventually, that turned into a running gag that made us both giggle.

And that night, like a Very Bad Kid, I unplugged the bed alarm and told myself, "He will be fine."

Around 2:30 that night, I heard a thoomp. Was I dreaming? Hallucinating? Was it something falling over in one of my many Fibber McGee closets? Was it something falling onto the roof (which happens all the time)? Was it something falling off my dad's bedside table (which was also happening all the time)? Or...was it Himself landing on the floor?

So I listened...and listened...nothing. So I tried to go back to sleep.

8:30 that Thursday morning, when I went in to take care of him...there he was, on the floor, where he'd been since 2:30 that night.

Fuck.

Don't worry, friends--he was lucid. He was uninjured, but I didn't know it yet.

He thought that, after not having walked for three months, he'd just waltz over to the coffee machine and make himself a cuppa coffee at 2:30 in the morning.

I did not have a good feeling about trying to lift him. I was too depleted to try, and I wasn't sure he was actually ok after so long on the floor. So I called my sister to confer: should I call EMS? She said YES--the hospital will HAVE to place him into a nursing home after they're sure he's stable.

And that, dear ones, is exactly what happened.

Oh, sure, I had to scream hysterically (again--totally not my personality) at the hospital staff that my dad couldn't come home...the hospice had come and taken the hospital bed back (because I told them to), so there was no bed for him...I wouldn't be there...whatever...anything/everything I could think of. My aunt had warned me about this--the hospital will try to bully/browbeat you into taking your loved one back, even when it's no longer safe for him/her or you to take care of them at home. So you HAVE to stick to your guns. And a little well-placed shouting and hysteria can go a long way in getting those bullies to back off (thanks, Auntie!).

My dad is in the only more-or-less local rehab/nursing facility (an hour away from my house) that would take him during the pandemic, and they are taking such good care of him that I've arranged for a famous local bakery to deliver 3 dozen cake pops and 1 dozen cookies to the staff tomorrow.

He's been there a month and, like I said, is doing great except for, like me, needing a haircut.

The plan is to use Medicare to get him back on his feet so he can stroll around using his rollator and so he can get in/out of his wheelchair by himself. Once he's strong enough to do that, I keep telling him (I call him every day), I can check him out of the facility for a weekend here and there so we can go take our family road trips, go see movies, and hit up our favorite local restaurants again.

While Medicare gives him all the rehab he can benefit from (i.e., until he plateaus), we're golden. Then, we cash out his cash-value life insurance and pay for private care (buckle up, friends--it costs ~$10k/month). Then my sister and I will (re)apply for Medicaid but in this new state (like I said, he's an hour away from the house). Then he will be all set for all the long-term care he needs.

It's been sad/challenging in that this is the longest we've been apart since I moved him in because pandemic (thanks, trump, you POS), but it's been the Biggest Comfort in the World to know that he's being so well taken care of. And my house is finally...quiet. No longer am I running his washer/dryer 1+ times daily. No more 24/7 TV from his suite. I'm finally getting my weight back up and stable. I am slowly regaining enough mental function to work. And I'm slowly relearning to sleep--even though I still hear a crap-ton of weird noises 24/7 that I used to think were coming from his suite but that I now know cannot be. Hm!

So although Medicare fucking sucks when it comes to hospice, and although you have to buy and do so much yourself that you'll wonder what exactly Medicare is good for when it comes to hospice, our story has a happy ending because my precious Cupcake of a dad now has his very own round-the-clock staff who appreciate him as much as I do and who are taking the Very Best Care they can of him under the circumstances.

If anyone deserves his own 24/7 staff, it's my dad.  :)

Happy Father's Day!

- Dot Calm's shadow

Monday, April 06, 2020

Medicare lurves hospice at home--an update

Greetings, friends -

Now that we've been doing the whole hospice at home thing for a few weeks now, let me tell you definitively what Medicare does and does not cover--according to hospice, at least.

I say "according to hospice" because our private nursing aide thinks that the hospice service is lying and that Medicare really DOES cover more than the hospice service is actually providing. And when it comes to what the hospice people claim they will provide, it depends on whom you talk to. The first one or two people you talk to blithely claim, oh, yes, that's covered...but when you ask to get your hands on whatever it is, the answer is always NO.

According to our private nursing aide, Medicare pays hospice $4,000 up front because they are basically expecting the patient to pass away in short order.

MY dad, on the other hand, has defied every statistic and every negative expectation--he is getting stronger by the day, and he is champing at the bit to start in-home rehab and get back on his feet and back to being independent.

I could not be more bust-at-the-seams, over-the-moon pleased to have my dad back--even the way he is right now, stuck in bed.

But I digress.

Here is the definitive list of what hospice will and will not provide as covered (they claim) by Medicare:

1. Adult diapers--but you are responsible for going out and getting your own because they may not give you the right kind or the right size.

2. Incontinence pads--but you are responsible for going out and getting your own because they may just not have them.

3. Gloves, but, hey, nobody has any right now. Can't fault 'em for that.

4. A nursing aide up to three times per week for one hour per visit to clean you or your loved one from head to toe and strip/remake the bed.

So, in short, you are guaranteed to get $75/week (for the nursing aide) but nothing beyond that--you may still have to run out and buy supplies they DO cover and are supposed to provide.

Hospice claims that Medicare will NOT provide the following:

1. Adult wipes--apparently, they expect you to put clean diapers on dirty butts.

2. Butt cream--apparently, they don't mind covering hospital visits for diaper rash, pressure sores, etc.

And, as you know, YOU are the 24/7 nursing aide for your loved one. YOU provide all the food supplies and preparation; YOU feed your loved one; YOU help them clean their teeth; YOU bed-bathe them on days the hospice aide doesn't come; YOU provide the facility; YOU provide the utilities; YOU provide everything--even the items that Medicare is SUPPOSED to cover because, gosh darn it, hospice might just not feel like it that day.

It's a pretty sick system, isn't it?

The moral of the story is to minimize home hospice because Medicare is giving a crap ton of money to these services who pocket nearly every penny, leaving you and your loved one in the lurch to fend for yourselves.

Forewarned is forearmed, friends.

So stay healthy--stay safe and stay home for now; get yourself long-term care health insurance; and be sure to check the ratings and reviews of every medical professional and service before you let them near yourself or your precious loved ones.

And don't forget to let out a cheer for my old man--he is a Force of Nature, and I am absolutely beside myself with glee at having Himself back.  :)

Tuesday, March 24, 2020

Medicare luuuuurves hospice at home...

...or a PSA on how I take care of my dad during the COVID-19 pandemic

On 26 February, my precious dad came down with a cold that didn't seem like much at first.

He usually gets over colds in 3 days--the rat bastard.  ;)

This time was different.

Spoiler: NO, it was NOT COVID-19.

It was just an ordinary cold that, in an 88-year-old man with a history of weakness from Parkinson's disease, turned into nasty bronchitis that brought us to the local ER*.

(Unfortunately, our local ER needed us to make two such visits: they sent us home with a clean bill of health after the first visit and only admitted him after he was literally too sick to get out of bed because he was having trouble breathing. The ER nurse who took care of us both times was pissed on our behalf. It was a case of the doctors having their heads up their asses and the nurses being the superstars who really help the patients get better. But I digress.)

From the ER that day nearly a month ago, my dad was admitted to the ICU**, where he stayed for a good 2 weeks, receiving excellent care from the nurses (and still a fair amount of stupidity from the doctors...but I digress).

From the ICU, they stepped down my dad's care to the PCU*** (note: stepping down care is usually a good thing).

While he was in that ICU-PCU transition, the bronchitis resolved with the antibiotics, but the weakness brought on multi-lobe aspiration pneumonia...meaning that my dad was no longer infectious but that he was sicker than ever.

From the PCU, the hospital discharged my dad to hospice care****.

My dad had the choice of going to a very nice, new local facility for hospice care or receiving hospice care at home.

He chose hospice care at home--and I readily agreed because who wants to put their loved one into a facility where they could be exposed to COVID-19?--so home he came on Friday.

The hospice people and the hospital bragged that Medicare "covers everything" if you go the hospice-at-home route.

Now that we've experienced a few days of hospice care at home, I now know what they mean when they say Medicare "covers everything."

Here's the translation: "everything" = "precious little."

Let me explain.

In a facility, your care is delivered by nurses, who administer the medicine, and by certified nursing aides (CNAs), who do all the personal care throughout the day: showers if you can, sponge baths in bed if you can't, changing your adult diapers if you use them, emptying and cleaning your bedside commode if you use one, cleaning your teeth if you can't do it yourself, and changing your bed sheets while you're still in bed if you can't get out of bed with less than two trained people's help. (Typical rehab facilities may either have a doctor who comes in regularly or a doctor on call whom they can page; hospice at home has doctors they can similarly consult.)

So, in the hospice-at-home setting, you can expect to see a nurse a couple times per week and a CNA a couple times per week.

We have had a private CNA helping my dad for 2 hrs/day for the past year. She charges $25/hr, or $50/day, or $250/week (or $300/week if she helps us out every day but Saturday).

For hospice at home, Medicare covers (drumroll, please) 3 hrs/week maximum for a CNA.

In other words, for your loved one's personal care, Medicare covers a whopping $75/week tops.

In other words, if you're "lucky" (read: sick) enough to qualify, you will get a CNA for one hour every other day.

And you will only get that precious, precious CNA on Monday through Friday during 9-5 regular business hours.

Nights?
Weekends?
You're on your own, bub!

This means that, if you--as your loved one's caregiver
--aren't trained, willing, or able to change adult underwear, do bed baths, or change sheets while your loved one is still in bed, your loved one could be left sitting in his or her own waste for nearly 48 hours.

In short, Medicare loves home hospice care because they are getting all YOUR labor for FREE.

I'll say it again: under Medicare, for hospice at home, YOU ARE THE CNA.

The hospice providers can really only do very little.

They can arrange rental of a hospital bed with rails to keep your loved one safe from falling out of bed and with mattresses that plump up with air to help keep your loved one from getting painful and potentially life-threatening pressure sores.

The hospice nurse can show you how to operate medical equipment--like nebulizers--provided that your hospice case manager orders it for you. (Admitted on a weekend? It may take days for your equipment to be ordered, let alone to show up.)

The hospice CNA can come by for 1 precious hour every other weekday during 9-5 business hours--given whomever else is already on his/her busy schedule--to help keep your loved one clean and comfortable.

The hospice case manager can arrange for an interdenominational pastor to provide spiritual support (which doesn't work for Catholics like my dad, who insist on having their own priests provide pastoral support).

Hospice at home can provide a few other sundry services--for example, they provide cheap-ass adult diapers and bed pads, and they provide itty bitty baby wipes that are too small for adult bottoms--but these are the biggies. As it was, a friend of mine ran out and brought us much nicer adult diapers and butt wipes (as I affectionately call them), and I've been using our own disposable bed pads because the supplies from hospice are so inferior.

Hospice does not provide special food for your loved one, like thickened liquids or even thickener for the beverages you have on hand. They will simply tell you, "Put cornstarch in it" without telling you how or how much. What they don't tell you is DON'T just dump raw cornstarch into, say, iced tea and expect it to taste nice or thicken appropriately. You will have to cook it on high heat until it thickens appropriately and the raw flavor cooks out. Lest I misinform you, try Dr. Google for amounts and recipes for homemade thickened beverages. And you'd better have a blender and broth on hand to puree regular foods for your loved one who can't swallow normally.

Hospice cannot help with CNA care after hours. They cannot help--or, as they promise, facilitate
--applications for Medicaid.

If you arrange for hospice at home, expect "NO" for an answer most of the time.

What they can do is very minimal, and you will need to ask questions that demand quantifiable answers if you want half a clue regarding what you're signing up for.

And woe to you if you or your loved one is discharged to hospice on a Friday, like my dad was--you'll find yourself flying blind and walking a tightrope without a net. It's a brutal adjustment for you as a caregiver.

If you've had hospital ward experience as an adult, you can indeed manage this if you're not already working a job--it's an honor and privilege to take care of a loved one, and it is extremely satisfying and rewarding, but it is also exhausting.

If, however, you've had the misfortune to start hospice during the COVID-19 pandemic, you will find things to be even more haywire.

Your hospice social worker or case manager may refuse to come to the house, or they may not be able to because they may be sick themselves. This slows down deliveries of services and medical equipment and supplies.

The hospice nurses, some of whom do work on the weekends, may end up picking up the slack--which, frankly, isn't fair to them.

You will have immense difficulty getting supplies like sanitizing wipes, disinfectant spray, masks, and everything else that crazy Americans have hoarded that medical professionals use to keep themselves and their patients safe.

You will encounter delays in getting ordinary supplies that crazy Americans aren't hoarding delivered to your home.

You will hear "NO" in response to your reasonable requests on your loved one's behalf more frequently than you otherwise might.

In other words, COVID-19 is NOT helping the home hospice situation, and Americans' panic is harming real people who deserve better.

So, dear ones, that is my public service announcement, or PSA, on why Medicare lurves hospice care at home and how COVID-19 isn't making things easier.

The good news is that my dad is doing a lot better now that he's home.

His breathing--although far from perfect--is a lot better. He is coughing a whole lot less. He is able to swallow thin liquids, like his beloved coffee, most of the time without aspirating it. Even though he is eating precious little--a few tablespoons of food daily--he is still Himself, and he still has his sense of humor and his ambitions...such as getting into his old, familiar wheelchair and using his own bathroom.

Thanks to the hospice crisis care nurses--whom the hospice's admitting nurse assigned to us the Friday my dad was admitted because he was in such poor shape--my dad spent this afternoon in the wheelchair and used his own bathroom, albeit with a lot of help.

His long term prognosis is still an unknown, but it was immensely satisfying to see him have such a great day today.

And if you want to make truly gourmet thickened coffee, here are two options that have worked a treat for my dad and me:

1. Hit up your favorite online Cuban store (mine is in Miami) and buy some Spanish-style hot chocolate mix. Cook as directed, adding one packet/serving of your favorite instant espresso crystals per cup of dairy or non-dairy milk. This is beyond yummy!

2. If your hospital transport service gives you thickened milk from your loved one's hospital room, microwave it with a teaspoon or two of sugar (to taste) and one packet/serving of your favorite instant espresso crystals. This is a great way not to waste something your loved one may not find appetizing on its own, and it makes a very nice, rich café au lait.

That's it from here for now.

In the long term, please plan ahead and consider getting long term health care insurance so that you don't find yourself relying on already-stressed-out family members to apply to Medicaid for you at the last minute.

In the short term, stay safe and STAY HOME if you can...keep your hands clean and DON'T touch your face...and for the love of Pete, DON'T HOARD personal protective equipment, toilet paper, or anything else that everyone else needs right now.

Remember, we're all in this together. And if we keep our heads, we will all get through this together.

---
*ER = emergency room
**ICU = intensive care unit
***PCU = progressive care unit
***Hospice care = palliative, or comfort care, expected to last 6 months or less because the patient is considered to be approaching end of life

Wednesday, December 25, 2019

Merry ChriFSMas, dear ones!

...Here's hoping all your holidays are merry and bright.

Me?

I'm thankful.

Very, very thankful.

Unlike last year, when we lost every holiday from Halloween to MLK Jr Day included due to a series of medical mishaps, this year, my dad is home, happy, healthy, and here.

We are having a completely low-key, laid-back day today, and I so appreciate it.

We even took a play out of our Jewish friends' play book and ordered Chinese food in for supper tonight.

Yum...burp!

I'm also very thankful that trump was finally impeached--which, I understand, makes him unpardonable (yay!)--and that we do indeed have some semblance of law and order in the land.

George Carlin once said--I paraphrase--that it isn't politicians that suck but our society that sucks. Our politicians come from the same parents, schools, and society that the rest of us do. We have shitty, greedy, selfish, stupid politicians because we have a shitty, greedy, selfish, stupid society. I think there's more than a grain of truth to that, but, unlike George, I don't leave it there.

I say that it's up to us to improve our own personal little localities of society by being the best, happiest selves we can be. In that sense, we DO need to be selfish--we need to keep reaching for those next best-feeling thoughts and feeling our way into being as happy as we can be. Only there, from a position of joy and replenishment, can we help others.

And I see a growing segment of society around the world doing exactly this--realizing that what matters most is being happy and that improving our own happiness helps us help those we love.

So, yay--all is right with the world.

And yes--I am giving thanks!

I hope y'all have a lot to be thankful for this year, too.



Thursday, November 28, 2019

Happy Tofurkey Day--I am thankful for YOU!

Greetings, dear ones -

Happy Tofurkey Day! I am thankful for YOU!

This year is so so so much better than last year--my dad and I got to watch the Macy's Day Parade from the comfort of our own home with homemade coffee and breakfast. So much better than sitting by while he recovered from iatrogenic aspiration pneumonia.

I could not be more thankful--for him or for YOU!

That said, let me warn you, dear ones, as I recently did on the Twitter...

DO NOT buy "Medicare advantage" without checking reviews FIRST.

Better yet--do not buy "Medicare advantage" AT ALL.

Dear ones, it is a scam.

The only thing that costs $0/month is the privilege of having high-cost, low-coverage insurance SOLD to you.

The insurance itself comes at a PREMIUM--often hundreds of dollars per month.

And here's the bad news: these conmen and conwomen are only too happy to sell you insurance that will kick you off your existing Medicare supplement...

You know--the insurance that your company oh-so-carefully negotiated on your behalf for your retirement...

...and replace it with something MUCH more costly and MUCH less beneficial for you...while they laugh all the way to the bank.

You see, these sales conmen and conwomen collect $0/month from you, but they get hefty commissions from these insurance scammers companies.

And here's something else they won't tell you: once your expensive new Medicare supplemental insurance
--which surely covers less than the policy your company negotiated for you--kicks you off your existing Medicare supplemental insurance, you WON'T be able to get back on.

That's right, friends--you could phone yourself right out of affordable insurance and right into a financial mess that your loved ones may not be able to rescue you from.

So, this open season, please be sure to tell sweet lovable Joe Namath what he can do with his "Medicare advantage," and don't fall for the hype and the lies.

The life you save may be your own.

Or, dear ones, if you have elder friends and rellies, please keep an eye on them--don't let them fall for this shit.

Healthcare insurance fraud is a Very Real Thing, but it's perpetrated not by Us The People but by the for-profit, against-people insurance companies.

Don't put yourself or your loved ones into the category of the thousands upon thousands of frustrated, needlessly impoverished Americans filing complaints against these bastards.

Remember, commercials are a scam. But don't take my word for it--just look up the reviews on anything they advertise. And I mean look PAST the reviews that the scammers themselves pay for. Do your research. See for yourself.

And with those words...and with Dot Calm's favorite video for this time of year...I bid you and yours a safe, prosperous, delicious, and joyous Thanksgiving!

- Dot Calm's shadow


Bonus material--my favorite Thanksgiving song:

Friday, July 05, 2019

The self-hatred is strong with these MAGA people...

In my last post, I wrote about how the evil that MAGA people wish on others is what they inwardly think they deserve to have happen to themselves.

How is that even possible--why would they think that?

I am taking an online meditation course taught by B. Alan Wallace. In the second lesson, he discusses Western self-hatred, self-contempt, self-loathing, and poor self-esteem.

He claims that this mental illness stems from multiple sources--not just one.

I agree.

However, I strongly suspect that there is one fundamental source that provides fertile soil for the other sources to take root and blossom: Christianity.

Not even Judaism teaches the intensity of "you are worthless without god, and you deserve to burn in Hell no matter how good you are" self-loathing that Christianity does--remember, Hell, i.e., infinite punishment for finite crime including thought crime--was introduced by Jesus the meek and mild.

The death cult of Christianity has successfully brainwashed its followers for millennia into thinking that they were worth less than worms.

In the worthlessness that Christians imbibe, today's preachers and right-wing media sell self-worth in the form of hatred and bigotry, and corporations sell self-worth in the form of shiny, expensive, new houses, cars, clothes, and amusements--amusements that are often necessary to dull the pain of perceiving oneself as worthless.

In other words, Christianity brainwashes its adherents into thinking they are worthless; then, utterly convinced of their worthlessness, Christians self-medicate with consumerism and hatred of others to escape the pain inflicted by their religion.

Other escapes include indulging in cognitive dissonance, magical thinking, and other forms of willful self delusion--all fomented by religion, FOX "News" and right-wing talk radio, and the corporations that all have something to sell sell sell sell.

Alas, the hatred that MAGA people feel for themselves is exactly what they radiate outward to the rest of society and the world.

No wonder there was a smiling woman at trump's tiny penis parade who proudly wore a yellow shirt that mocked the refugee father and daughter who drowned in each other's arms as they sought asylum here.

No wonder MAGA people blame those more powerless than they for their own perceived failures.

No wonder they think to themselves that innocent children in cages deserve to be locked up in conditions worse than the Geneva Convention establishes as reasonable for adult prisoners of war who signed up to commit mass murder on behalf of their governments.

No wonder they celebrate the cruelty inflicted by their own grievously mentally ill, putinist puppet in the White House on those who haven't the means to fight back. No wonder others' suffering gives them a gleam in the eye, a tight-lipped self-satisfied smile, and a wicked hard-on.

Remember, dear ones: for as much as these MAGA people hate you and me and the rest of the world, they hate themselves more.

Like the vicarious redemption their Jesus offers, the suffering that Republicans inflict on "the other" is the vicarious punishment that America's Christians are convinced they deserve themselves.

I see a lot of people on Twitter lately lamenting the behavior of these cruelty-hungry MAGA people, asking, "How do we get through to these people?"

I wish I knew.

However, I suspect that a good start would be to figure out how to teach them first and foremost to start loving themselves and treating themselves with compassion and kindness.

Perhaps then, we could start making inroads into releasing them from their delusions that their enemies are the weak and powerless rather than the rich and powerful and that they themselves deserve every calamity they currently celebrate being meted out on those who deserve our compassion, our comfort, and our aid.

Perhaps, if we could convince America's Christians first and foremost that they literally deserve to be happy--despite whatever their god, their holy book, their preachers, and their favorite TV channels say--then we might be able to start healing this shattered, polarized society of ours.

It's worth a try. We have literally nothing to lose and perhaps our society, our accountability, our respect on the world stage, and our democracy to regain.

Happy America's Birthday, y'all.

Hashtag ObamaDayIsJuly4th
Hashtag TrumpsTinyPenisParade
Hashtag RevolutionaryWarAirportStories (I popped two into the mix this morning and may be back to add moar--they're hilarious!!)

Much love to you all--Resisters and MAGA people alike!

- Dot Calm's shadow

P.S.--if you're wondering why I haven't been blogging in a while, it's because my dad had another UTI in March, which means another several weeks in hospital and rehab, and then, in May, I came down with shingles myself. Shingles is damned nasty--it was so painful I couldn't move for weeks, so my poor dad was largely on his own. It's July now, and I am STILL recovering--so GET THE SHINGLES VACCINE NOW, dear ones!!!!!

Monday, February 18, 2019

Dear MAGA people: all those people you hate are canaries in the coal mine

Dear MAGA people:

I recently saw one of your kind on Twitter lamenting that trump isn't "hurting the right people."

And therein lies your problem.

You know all those people you hate?

Americans who happen to be poor, female, LGBTQ+, Black, brown, non-Christian?

Friends, they are the canaries in the coal mine.

Think about it!

What you want trump and the republicans to do to the poor, to women, to LGBTQ+, to people of color, and to people of other religions and faiths than yours shows trump and the republicans what you'll tolerate them doing to you.

You enjoy locking brown babies in cages? Then don't be shocked when the fascist autocrats you love so much put your babies in cages. If they can do it to innocent people coming here legally to seek asylum, then they can trump up whatever reasons they want to do it to you once you let them know you're cool with it.

You want to ban Muslims? Then don't be shocked when you're banned because your religion is the wrong flavor of the month.

You want to fire or torture LGBTQ+? Then don't be shocked when you're fired or tortured just because, by tolerating the firing and torture of others, the fascist autocrats you love come after you to fire and torture you.

You want to force young or poor women to give birth against their will--you want to treat women's bodies as property of the government? Then don't be shocked when the government treats your body as its own property--and we've all seen how willing trump and the republicans are to squander what they haven't earned. Today, it's your tax money as they give your refund to the billionaires you hate, like George Soros and Jeff Bezos; tomorrow, it could be a pint of your blood or your bone marrow or live organ donation of your kidney or part of your liver or your lung.

Hell, maybe one of the Kochs or Adelsons or Mercers might need your heart transplanted into one of them. So what if you're still using it? Once your boofing beer boi Kavanaugh overturns McFall v. Shimp on his way to overturning Roe v. Wade, your body becomes property of the state--the government decides who lives and who dies. And I guarantee that your life matters a whole lot less to the republicans and the rich donor class than one of their own does.

Are you getting it yet?

You know all those people you get off on seeing as less than human? Well, your oligarch overlords see you as being just as inferior--if not more so.

And that's what we as liberals are fighting so hard against!

We refuse to be their canaries in the coal mine, exploited and poisoned by them for fun and profit.

And we would rather not pull out the pitchforks and torches for another Robespierre-style Revolution where all the idle rich oligarchs' heads end up in straw baskets, as Randi Rhodes puts it.

But you know what?

I've been seeing a lot of guillotine memes on social media lately, which tells me that a lot of Americans are fed the hell up with giving their hard-earned money--the money they need to survive and take care of their families--to billionaires to squirrel away and hoard.

No wonder ordinary Americans are pissed off at Ivanka's "let them eat champagne popsicles" attitude and Wilber Ross's "let them take out loans when they have zero income for collateral" attitude.

The idle rich thus prove every day that they're completely out of touch with what it takes for your family to make ends meet on a daily basis. They can't even remotely understand what it means to live paycheck to paycheck.

And trump himself thinks you need an ID to buy cereal and that your local grocer will "work with you" if you can't pay for food because he shut the government down for over a month.

Friends, these people do not have your back.

They don't even have a clue!

But we do!

We want all Americans to have affordable health care, decent public schools, decent housing, decent jobs for decent pay, unpoisoned air, water, food...in short, we want everyone treated humanely.

And, frankly, you should, too.

A government like trump's that goes out of its way to hurt any of us is already hurting the wrong people.

Like I said, we don't want another French Revolution with oligarch blood running in the streets--even if trump and the GOP seem tone-deaf enough not to realize they're pushing hard for one.

We'd rather have another FDR-style president who's smart enough to realize that the rich can only survive if they give back some of their wealth now, semi-voluntarily, without forcing us to come take it all back since they've been stealing it from us in the first place for the past 30ish years.

No, dear ones--just because billionaires bought up enough politicians to make them change the laws for the past 30 years so that your money became their money, it does not mean, "Oh, those billionaires earned it."

They didn't earn that money. YOU did. Only the republicans--who taught you to hate those less powerful and more vulnerable than you--pissed on your head and told you it was raining.

That's right, friends--stealing is not earning, and, in the America I grew up in, thieves and cheaters don't get to keep their ill-gotten gains.

And you know what? Even if they did earn it rather than steal it, they need to fork it over as long as there's one child starving or one child in need of medicine his or her family can't afford or one child stuck in a shitty public school in a community with shitty infrastructure because republicans over the past 30 years forgot their oaths of office or the Preamble to the Constitution.


Personally, I want to make sure this shit never happens again.

Does that mean 100% civil asset forfeiture? And life in prison? Possibly--probably for the worst offenders. And all their confiscated ill-gotten gains get returned to Us the People, from whom those resources were stolen in the first place.

That just sounds like justice to me.

Mostly, my personal vision is for every last one of them--every traitor and traitor-enabler--to be defanged permanently.

This has to happen. They must--individually and collectively--be denuded of all power so that they can't run off and take root elsewhere to fight against our democracy again.

That sure sounds like dying broke in prison to me, but, hey, I don't care as much how as long as it happens.

So, what do you think?

Are you content to enjoy watching the canaries in the coal mine die, knowing that your turn is next? Does their suffering and pain feed you so much that you don't really care what happens to your family as long as another family suffers first?

Is it just about the money--as in, "I don't care how many babies trump and the republicans cage or how many Saudi journalists they carve up and kill as long as they leave my tax refund alone"?

Or is it about the principle of American fairness, compassion, empathy, and democracy?

Are you ready to join with the people you hate in order to fight the oligarchs who hate you?

I hope you see your way clear to fight against the oligarchs and for America. I truly do. And if you do, you'll find that your fellow Americans who are already on this side of the fight are very friendly and forgiving.

Why not take that leap of faith and find out?

As trump would say, what do you have to lose?

- Dot Calm's shadow

Tuesday, February 05, 2019

Happy Lunar New Year!

Jie, if you're still out there and still listening, we still love you! đź’–

My dad has been home from the rehab for a few weeks now, and we're still settling in. I've had just enough time to catch my breath...and just in time to start my annual volunteer event planning insanity project.

And my treasurer is MIA.

Ah well!

At least I'm still here, carrying on, and my dad is getting better and stronger by the day.

BOY, are we glad he's home. Every day has been something of a party.

Whew.

So, happy Lunar New Year, dear ones. Remember: piggies are highly intelligent and sensitive creatures, so please pet them--don't eat them. Please also take care of your elder friends and rellies--they're counting on you, even if they're too proud or too shy to ask.

- Dot Calm's shadow
(SOTU? STFU!)

Wednesday, January 16, 2019

Happy My Dad Is Home From The Rehab Day, Y'all!

Treason's greedings, everyone -

I finally brought my dad home from the rehab today.

He hasn't been home since Halloween, so today has been a long time coming.

We celebrated by ordering in from Outback Steakhouse (I get a nekkid salad and baked potato because I'm a happy gluten-free vegan; he gets prime rib, mashies, broccoli, and a salad with bleu cheese) and by sipping Irish coffee (I order in so that I don't have to drive--that way, we both get to be designated drinkers...and I make a wicked vegan Irish coffee...yum...and yay!).

Le Dadster seems fine, but I am exhausted.

Hopefully, with him home now, I'll be able to post more to le blawg.

Be well, y'all, and be sure to keep an eye on your elder friends and rellies. Especially don't let no stinking rehabs give them medication by mouth when they're too sleepy to swallow it without choking lest they end up in yet another hospital and rehab with aspiration pneumonia, like they did to my dad. He should have been home for Thanksgiving, but here we are at 16 January 2019.

- Dot Calm's shadow

Tuesday, December 25, 2018

Merry ChriFSMas, y'all! (He boiled for your sins)

Treason's greedings, everyone -

I've managed to come down with yet another cold, but I'm going to the rehab anyway to be with my dad for Christmas. As a result, I barely have time or energy for a hi-and-bye here on le blawg.

I'll let Eddie Murphy take it from here.

Be well! Take care of you, and enjoy this day with your dear ones.  <3

- Dot Calm's shadow

Friday, December 21, 2018

Happy Dot Calm's Birthday, y'all!

Treason's greedings, everyone!

Winter solstice--aka Dot Calm's birthday--is a time when I usually reminisce about how brilliant, compassionate, funny, and passionate Dot Calm was and how grieved I remain that she is gone.

Soldiering on without her does not get any easier, it seems.

Alas, this year, I am still so focused on getting my dad better and getting him home that I just don't have the bandwidth to write something lovely about Dot Calm, even though she certainly deserves it.

She also deserves that we all soldier on against the sick, evil, fascist, sadistic autocrats in the White House and the Republican Party.

Fighting them tooth and nail with everything we got is one small way we can honor this great lady.

So often, Dot would say that, when she died, she wanted to be put in a shopping cart. She did not want to be buried. She wanted to be cremated and sprinkled over her beloved Trent and Neuse rivers in New Bern, North Carolina. She didn't want as much as a headstone. She wanted to slide on out as if she'd never been here.

Little did she know how much of a lasting, loving impact she'd continue to have on those of us who love her.

Hopefully, this time next year, we'll have evicted the traitors from OUR government and started our country on a healing path where we can all be more relaxed and joyful. And then, I hope, I will write a post worthy of my precious namesake, Dot Calm.

Until then, be well, dear ones; take care of yourselves and your loved ones--especially your elder rellies because they're counting on you.

- Dot Calm's shadow
@dotcalmsshadow

P.S.--did you know that Dot Calm and Frank Zappa had the same exact birthday? How cool is that?!

Thursday, December 20, 2018

Happy Dot Calm's Birthday Eve!

Treason's greedings, dear ones; I just want to wish you a happy Dot Calm's Birthday Eve.

My dad is still in the rehab, but I will try to write a brief post in Dot Calm's honor tomorrow...but please don't hold it against me if I don't.

Take care of yourselves 'til we meet again.

- Dot Calm's shadow

Thursday, November 22, 2018

Happy Tofurkey Day, friends...gobble gobble gobble! I'm grateful for my dad...and for YOU!

 Treason's greedings, everyone...

I just got back home from the hospital where my dad is now...

He had his first ever bout of atrial fibrillation, or a-fib, on Halloween...which had him in the hospital for a couple days until he cardioverted (converted back into normal rhythm) on medication. Then, on 3 November, they discharged him to the acute rehab facility, which we used before and liked very much, to get back on his feet so he could go back to being independent while I'm gone 12 hours every day at work. Then, he caught a urinary tract infection, or UTI, which weakened him and made him very, very sleepy. Friends, I had never seen him so sick. But he was starting to mend just fine. Then, a week ago Sunday and Monday or Monday and Tuesday, for over 24 hours, they were giving him his oral medications while he was too sleepy to swallow them without choking...so he choked on his medications and aspirated them, leading to aspiration pneumonia...and he's been in a different hospital--one less than a mile away from the rehab--since like a week ago Tuesday.

So he's been in three different facilities since Halloween--not home once since--and he's been in this particular hospital for over a week.

The timeline is becoming a blur.

This hospital trip has been the most scared I've ever been for my father's health. With the pneumonia, we were not sure he'd pull through. And, of course, he went back into a-fib again. This place was smart enough to put him on Cardizem rather than digoxin...Cardizem is gentler and doesn't drop the heart rate so drastically...the digoxin dropped his heart rate to well under 40 beats per minute, or bpm. The Cardizem cardioverted him I think within 24 hours, which is good. But he was still too weak to take anything by mouth until late last week, which means that he was off his Parkinson's meds for at least three days...which led to some very disturbing symptoms to see. Very disturbing...very disturbing. Again, we weren't sure he'd survive.

But, yesterday, his breathing started to sound a whole lot better...and, today, his breathing is nearly normal. So that's encouraging.

But now he has oral thrush because of all the mouth breathing and dryness, so he's hardly eating.

Cue Dot Calm's shadow banging head against brick wall....

I woke up this morning just hoping to spend the day with my dad and grateful that I still could.

And I am grateful that I did!

What I can say is that, even though he slept almost the whole time from 11:40 this morning until I left at 7:15 this evening, what little he was awake, he was completely lucid...in contrast to how he was off his meds (holy crap holy crap holy crap...and I don't even want to talk about the grimacing and non-purposeful movements and the apparent delusions and the combativeness in my normally sweet dad)...so seeing him resting peacefully today and moving gently and purposefully when he was awake was a ginormous improvement over how he's been since he's been in this particular hospital.

Now...if only we can get him mended from the thrush and back on his feed...and then into a rehab program to finish getting his strength back...then I'll be able to bring him back home happy, healthy, and strong, and we'll be golden.

Holy phuque.

Seriously, dear ones--if you or anyone you love ever goes into a medical facility in this benighted country, make sure they have a knowledgeable, vigilant advocate on the outside who's ready, willing, and able to ride these people and watch them like a hawk.

The rehab was only trying to help my dad. I know that. But there's no way in hell they should ever have been giving him meds by mouth while he was too sleepy to swallow them--especially after the first time he choked on them.

Seriously!

Now, all of that said, like I said, I was grateful to be able to spend the day today with my dear delightful dad. Even though he slept through most of my visit, I know that he knew I was there, and he knew when I left this evening, and he was able to eat a few bites each of lunch and dinner.

And he knew that the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and the Dog Show were on--they were favorites of Dot Calm, so now I make a point of watching them, too.

So I am profoundly, devoutly grateful for the progress my dad has made back toward full health--not bad for an 87-year-old--and I am grateful for all of you in the Resistance.

Thanks for your patience with me as I've fallen so far behind posting videos and remarks here.

Before I go put my feet up and get some rest so I can get back to the hospital in time for my dad's endoscopy tomorrow (they want to make sure his throat is ok), allow me to post these two goodies without which Tofurkey Day would not be complete...enjoy!

Dot Calm used to post the video of Sarah Palin pardoning one turkey while another was being slaughtered right behind her, but I wonder if she ever saw this version:

And now a favorite from my childhood:

- Dot Calm's shadow

Sunday, November 04, 2018

VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE...FOR FUCK'S SAKE, VOTE--YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT!!!!!

Treason's greedings, fellow Dot Calm readers, freedom fighters, and truth crusaders!

Yes, I've been busy with the 9-hour-workday-plus-three-hour-round-trip-commute job.

Yes, I've been traveling--mostly with my dad but once or twice without.

Yes, I caught another cold, but I got over it in the normal week-to-ten days--unusual for bronchitis-prone me.

Yes, my dad is still dealing with health challenges...just as he's been recovering from one set of issues I blawgged about last time, he ended up in the hospital this week with an episode of a-fib that I think may have been at least partly brought on by dehydration.

So, yes, he's in the rehab yet again, rebuilding his strength so he can come home and be independent during the day, as he's been for the ~3 years I've had the privilege of having him live with me.

So...you might think that VOTING is the last thing on our minds...

THINK AGAIN!

On Tuesday morning, as early as I can manage it, I will drive the half hour to my dad's rehab and take him to our local polling place so that we can VOTE BLUE LIKE OUR LIVES DEPEND ON IT.

Friends, if you're even half way paying attention to le n00z deze daze, you know what's on the ballot...

Treason vs patriotism

White nationalism vs racial equality

Misogyny vs gender equality

LGBTQ+ oppression vs Love is Love

Condoning mass shootings, terrorism, caging babies, rape, pedophilia, and using bone saws to hack innocent journalists to bits vs what we used to call common decency

Cheating and corruption vs integrity and accountability

Division vs unity

Hatred vs love

Selfishness and greed vs generosity, community, and compassion

Fascism vs egalitarianism, democracy, and freedom

Pandering to the NRA vs common-sense gun laws

Valuing money vs valuing life

Unnecessary suffering and dying too young vs affordable health care

Russia, Saudi Arabia, the American Confederacy, and Nazism vs America with liberty and justice for all

Paranoia vs open society

Convenient, fungible fantasies vs objective reality

Insanity vs sanity

Dictatorship under tRUmp vs representative democracy

Fear vs hope

Lies vs truth

...Whew.

I could go on, but I won't...I'm pooped from spending the week either in the hospital with my dad or in the rehab with my dad. I desperately need to catch a few z's.

All I ask is that you remember how badly my 87-year-old Democrat dad wants to VOTE BLUE--remember what an effort it is for him right now, in his condition...remember that he insists on exercising his right to vote...think of me getting yelled at at work for having to telework yet one more day so that I can take my dad and me to the polls and vote...and then GIT YER ARSE TO THE POLLS AND VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE!

FOR FUCK'S SAKE, VOTE!!

VOTE LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT...VOTE LIKE YOUR FRIENDS' AND FAMILY'S LIVES DEPEND ON IT...VOTE LIKE THE CONTINUED EXISTENCE OF AMERICA AS WE LOVE IT DEPENDS ON IT...

...Because they all do.

***** VOTE!!!!! *****

- Dot Calm's shadow
P.S.--see ya on Twitter...that's about all I have time for until my dad comes home and I finagle a shorter, more reasonable commute.

Sunday, September 16, 2018

Manafucked = schadenfreudelicious...but we're still very much under attack

Treason's greedings, fellow Dot Calm readers, freedom fighters, and truth crusaders!

My dad and I have had several trips and health challenges this summer...including a death in the family and a few fun things, like seeing family, friends, and HAMILTON!!!!!

Himself, who asks nothing, wanted to see Hamilton several months ago, when it was still on Broadway. That would have cost me an arm and a leg to get us there and back, get handicap-friendly hotel accommodations, get tickets, etc. It might as well have been Timbuktu.

So...when the show came to our part of the world, I got us tickets...and off to a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant and to see Hamilton we went. Yay!

My own health challenges have been minor--things like common colds and chronic ailment flare-ups.

My dad's challenges have (thankfully!) been minor, too, looking back--we think he had a TIA (aka mini-stroke) that seems to have left almost negligible right-side weakness...and he has been under-medicated for thyroid (which regulates metabolism) for weeks, and the lethargy etc. finally caught up with him and hit him (and me as his care-giver) like a ton of bricks.

So, we've had a challenging summer--especially the two weeks before the past two weeks--and (thankfully!) the last two weeks have been oh-so-much better. My dad is much much much more his usual self, and that's all the medicine I need, so I'm a lot happier, too.

And that, in a nutshell, is where I've been since Second Civil War Day (LOL!).

So.

Now that I'm back...

As you know, with tRUmp in office, we get a month's fire-hose of news on a daily basis, hence my usual updates coming mostly as near-weekly video posts on Dot Calm's shadow's M00bies from the Resistance.

But I'm even behind on that because I've been out of town and sick so often of late...and I promise I'll catch up as soon as I can.

So where does that leave us Patriots right here right now?

Unfortunately, it leaves us still under attack.

Democrats have been able to delay the vote on Kavanaugh by a week. So NOW IS THE TIME to call EVERY senator who hasn't yet thumped the table announcing a loud "NO!" and give them a piece of your mind.

Although it's possible that, once back in power, Democrats would impeach and remove Kavanaugh for perjury--for which he belongs disbarred and possibly in prison rather than on the Supreme Court--but I wouldn't want to bet money on Dems having any kind of backbone when they wouldn't even hold chimpie and dickhead cheney accountable for torture and murdering hundreds of thousands of innocent Iraqis.

Speaking of w the chimp, allow me to disabuse you of mistaking him for a "kinder, gentler" (to quote his benighted father) Republican: w is NOW FUNDING THE COVER-UP of tRUmp's many crimes.

It is to barf...urk.

But I digress.

Back to Kava-OH-HELL-NO...

1. Kavanaugh has already demonstrated both his ignorance and his undying fealty to extreme right-wing philosophy by pronouncing pregnancy-preventing BIRTH CONTROL to be abortion-inducing. This is how insane these creatures are--they are so divorced from reality that they can't even understand that you can't abort a pregnancy that you prevent in the first place.

2. One of Kavanaugh's many lies to deliberately-gullible Senators like Susan Collins and Lisa Murkowski is that Roe v Wade is established law, not subject to being overturned by SCOTUS. But there is proof that he believes otherwise--that he believes it both possible and desirable to overturn Roe v Wade--and that he is more than willing to work toward that end.

Handmaidens, anyone?

3. Christine Blasey Ford has made a credible accusation that, in high school, Kavanaugh and a fellow male student attempted to rape her.

Frankly, I would not find it hard to believe that such a man, who clearly hates and fears women with a seething passion, wouldn't have sexual assault as a pattern behavior.

4. Kavanaugh LIED REPEATEDLY under oath--he perjured himself repeatedly over the course of several years--so that he could arrogate the power of judgeships from which to enact the extreme right-wing agenda.

Remember, friends--perjury is a federal crime punishable by up to five years in prison.

And THIS is who tRUmp and the gropey oligarch perv-pedo-putinists want lording over us from the highest court in the land for the next two generations.

But wait--there's moar (double urk!).

Kavanaugh believes that Democratic presidents should be thrown under the jail but that Republicans are above the law.

While he was all for indicting Bill Clinton for lying about adult consensual extramarital sex, he doesn't believe that tRUmp should even be investigated, let alone questioned, let alone impeached and removed from office.

In other words, Kavanaugh believes that, as long as tRUmp remains in office, he is above the law.

And for as long as tRUmp is above the law, then he can do anything and everything he likes...from shooting someone in cold blood on 5th Avenue to eschewing term limits and declaring himself king for life so that he dies in office a free man, regardless of whatever crimes he's committed.

See why this is so important?

Please, friends--call your senators if you're unlucky enough to have Democrats Donnelly, Manchin, McCaskill, Heitkamp, Nelson, or Jones or if you've got Republicans Collins, Murkowski, Flake, Corker, or Paul (contact information below).

I was shocked at how late Virginia's Mark Warner came to the party--unbelievable that a so-called Democrat would even have considered NOT voting "no" immediately on someone of Kavanaugh's ilk.

Yikes.

I'm sure that it was all the calls and e-mails and tweets from me and like-minded Virginians that finally swayed him into doing the right thing.

But that's not much of a comfort, friends, is it?

I hope we get a decent primary challenger for Warner--right now, his only charm is that he's ostensibly better than a Republican.

Meanwhile...

If you'd like even moar ammunition for contacting your senators than what's in todaze post, then please consider the following items, posted below my sign-off for your comfort and convenience.

Reading the first piece from Design Mom's blawg is not a request--it's mandatory. It's an amazing piece of reasoning that was originally presented as a monster Twitter thread, which is where I first found it. So please do read the whole thing and please don't trap on a missing detail here or there--remember the 280 character limit the lady was constrained to writing the thread, which she captured and posted on her blawg, typos and all.

Keep fighting--and, whatever you do, make sure that you and all your Democratic friends are registered to vote and that you know where your polling places and times are because, when Democrats vote, we all win!

- Dot Calm's shadow

P.S.--I know I've relegated one of the yummiest stories of one of tRUmp's shittiest weeks evar to a mere footnote, but let me just say that seeing Paul Manafucked has been absolutely schadenfreudelicious. Given that as the crowning glory to Bob Woodward's book "Fear" (which I've already ordered) and the fascist-coward-trying-to-pretend-he's-on-the-right-side-of-history New York Times Op-Ed essay writer, tRUmp must well and truly be shitting bricks...which means that, aside from worrying and wondering whether all of the non-white, non-Christian, non-rich, non-straight non-men will get skrooed out of their rights by an alt-right SCOTUS, it's been a dam fine week.
 
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https://www.designmom.com/twitter-thread-abortion/

My Twitter Thread on Abortion


Today, I tried something new. I wrote a Twitter thread for the first time. It’s about abortion, and how I think we need to approach the topic differently.  I thought I’d share it here, because I know many of you don’t use Twitter. 
So here’s the thread, broken up into small Tweet-size pieces.
: )
I’m a mother of six, and a Mormon. I have a good understanding of arguments surrounding abortion, religious and otherwise. I’ve been listening to men grandstand about women’s reproductive rights, and I’m convinced men actually have zero interest in stopping abortion. Here’s why…
If you want to stop abortion, you need to prevent unwanted pregnancies. And men are 100% responsible for unwanted pregnancies. No for real, they are. Perhaps you are thinking: IT TAKES TWO! And yes, it does take two for _intentional_ pregnancies.
But ALL unwanted pregnancies are caused by the irresponsible ejaculations of men. Period. Don’t believe me? Let me walk you through it. Let’s start with this: women can only get pregnant about 2 days each month. And that’s for a limited number of years.
That makes 24 days a year a women might get pregnant. But men can _cause_ pregnancy 365 days a year. In fact, if you’re a man who ejaculates multiple times a day, you could cause multiple pregnancies daily. In theory a man could cause 1000+ unwanted pregnancies in just one year.
And though their sperm gets crappier as they age, men can cause unwanted pregnancies from puberty till death. So just starting with basic biology + the calendar it’s easy to see men are the issue here.
But what about birth control? If a woman doesn’t want to risk an unwanted pregnancy, why wouldn’t she just use birth control? If a women can manage to figure out how to get an abortion, surely she can get birth control, right? Great questions.
Modern birth control is possibly the greatest invention of the last century, and I am very grateful for it. It’s also brutal. The side effects for many women are ridiculously harmful. So ridiculous, that when an oral contraception for men was created, it wasn’t approved…
… because of the side effects. And the list of side effects was about 1/3 as long as the known side effects for women’s oral contraception.
There’s a lot to be unpacked just in that story, but I’ll simply point out (in case you didn’t know) that as a society, we really don’t mind if women suffer, physically or mentally, as long as it makes things easier for men.
But good news, Men: Even with the horrible side effects, women are still very willing to use birth control. Unfortunately it’s harder to get than it should be. Birth control options for women require a doctor’s appointment and a prescription. It’s not free, and often not cheap.
In fact there are many people trying to make it more expensive by fighting to make sure insurance companies refuse to cover it. Oral contraceptives for women can’t be acquired easily, or at the last minute. And they don’t work instantly.
If we’re talking about the pill, it requires consistent daily use and doesn’t leave much room for mistakes, forgetfulness, or unexpected disruptions to daily schedules. And again, the side effects can be brutal. I’M STILL GRATEFUL FOR IT PLEASE DON’T TAKE IT AWAY.
I’m just saying women’s birth control isn’t simple or easy. In contrast, let’s look at birth control for men, meaning condoms. Condoms are readily available at all hours, inexpensive, convenient, and don’t require a prescription. They’re effective, and work on demand, instantly.
Men can keep them stocked up just in case, so they’re always prepared. Amazing! They are so much easier than birth control options for women. As a bonus, in general, women love when men use condoms. They keep us from getting STDs, they don’t lessen our pleasure during sex…
… or prevent us from climaxing. And the best part? Clean up is so much easier — no waddling to the toilet as your jizz drips down our legs. So why in the world are there ever unwanted pregnancies? Why don’t men just use condoms every time they have sex? Seems so simple, right?
Oh. I remember. Men _don’t_ love condoms. In fact, men frequently pressure women to have sex without a condom. And it’s not unheard of for men to remove the condom during sex, without the women’s permission or knowledge. (Pro-tip: That’s assault.)
Why would men want to have sex without a condom? Good question. Apparently it’s because for the minutes they are penetrating their partner, having no condom on gives the experience more pleasure.
So… there are men willing to risk getting a woman pregnant — which means literally risking her life, her health, her social status, her relationships, and her career, so that they can experience a few minutes of _slightly_ more pleasure? Is that for real? Yes. Yes it is.
What are we talking about here pleasure-wise? If there’s a pleasure scale, with pain beginning at zero and going down into the negatives, a back-scratch falling at 5, and an orgasm without a condom being a 10, where would sex _with_ a condom fall? Like a 7 or 8?
So it’s not like sex with a condom is _not_ pleasurable, it’s just not _as_ pleasurable. An 8 instead of a 10. Let me emphasize that again: Men regularly choose to put women at massive risk by having non-condom sex, in order to experience a few minutes of slightly more pleasure.
Now keep in mind, for the truly condom-averse, men also have a non-condom, always-ready birth control built right in, called the pull out. It’s not perfect, and it’s a favorite joke, but it is also 96% effective.
So surely, we can expect men who aren’t wearing a condom to at least pull out every time they have sex, right?
Nope.
And why not?
Well, again, apparently it’s _slightly_ more pleasurable to climax inside a vagina than, say, on their partner’s stomach. So men are willing to risk the life, health and well-being of women, in order to experience a tiny bit more pleasure for like 5 seconds during orgasm.
It’s mind-boggling and disturbing when you realize that’s the choice men are making. And honestly, I’m not as mad as I should be about this, because we’ve trained men from birth that their pleasure is of utmost importance in the world. (And to dis-associate sex and pregnancy.)
While we’re here, let’s talk a bit more about pleasure and biology. Did you know that a man CAN’T get a woman pregnant without having an orgasm? Which means that we can conclude getting a woman pregnant is a pleasurable act for men.
But did you further know that men CAN get a woman pregnant without HER feeling any pleasure at all? In fact, it’s totally possible for a man to impregnate a woman even while causing her excruciating pain, trauma or horror.
In contrast, a woman can have non-stop orgasms with or without a partner and never once get herself pregnant. A woman’s orgasm has literally nothing to do with pregnancy or fertility — her clitoris exists not for creating new babies, but simply for pleasure.
No matter how many orgasms she has, they won’t make her pregnant. Pregnancies can only happen when men have an orgasm. Unwanted pregnancies can only happen when men orgasm irresponsibly.
What this means is a women can be the sluttliest slut in the entire world who loves having orgasms all day long and all night long and she will never find herself with an unwanted pregnancy unless a man shows up and ejaculates irresponsibly.
Women enjoying sex does not equal unwanted pregnancy and abortion. Men enjoying sex and having irresponsible ejaculations is what causes unwanted pregnancies and abortion.
Let’s talk more about responsibility. Men often don’t know, and don’t ask, and don’t think to ask, if they’ve caused a pregnancy. They may never think of it, or associate sex with making babies at all. Why? Because there are 0 consequences for men who cause unwanted pregnancies.
If the woman decides to have an abortion, the man may never know he caused an unwanted pregnancy with his irresponsible ejaculation.
If the woman decides to have the baby, or put the baby up for adoption, the man may never know he caused an unwanted pregnancy with his irresponsible ejaculation, or that there’s now a child walking around with 50% of his DNA.
If the woman does tell him that he caused an unwanted pregnancy and that she’s having the baby, the closest thing to a consequence for him, is that he may need to pay child support. But our current child support system is well-known to be a joke.
61% of men (or women) who are legally required to pay it, simply don’t. With little or no repercussions. Their credit isn’t even affected. So, many men keep going as is, causing unwanted pregnancies with irresponsible ejaculations and never giving it thought.
When the topic of abortion comes up, men might think: Abortion is horrible; women should not have abortions. And never once consider the man who CAUSED the unwanted pregnancy. If you’re not holding men responsible for unwanted pregnancies, then you are wasting your time.
Stop protesting at clinics. Stop shaming women. Stop trying to overturn abortion laws. If you actually care about reducing or eliminating the number of abortions in our country, simply HOLD MEN RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR ACTIONS.
What would that look like? What if there was a real and immediate consequence for men who cause an unwanted pregnancy? What kind of consequence would make sense? Should it be as harsh, painful, nauseating, scarring, expensive, risky, and life-altering…
… as forcing a woman to go through a 9-month unwanted pregnancy?
In my experience, men really like their testicles. If irresponsible ejaculations were putting their balls at risk, they would stop being irresponsible. Does castration seem like a cruel and unusual punishment? Definitely.
But is it worse than forcing 500,000 women a year to puke daily for months, gain 40 pounds, and then rip their bodies apart in childbirth? Is a handful of castrations worse than women dying during forced pregnancy & childbirth?
Put a castration law on the books, implement the law, let the media tell the story, and in 3 months or less, tada! abortions will have virtually disappeared. Can you picture it? No more abortions in less than 3 months, without ever trying to outlaw them. Amazing.
For those of you who consider abortion to be murder, wouldn’t you be on board with having a handful of men castrated, if it prevented 500,000 murders each year?
And if not, is that because you actually care more about policing women’s bodies, morality, and sexuality, than you do about reducing or eliminating abortions? (That’s a rhetorical question.)
Hey, you can even have the men who will be castrated bank their sperm before it happens — just in case they want to responsibly have kids some day.
Can’t wrap your head around a physical punishment for men? Even though you seem to be more than fine with physical punishments for women? Okay. Then how about this prevention idea: At the onset of puberty, all males in the U.S. could be required by law to get a vasectomy.
Vasectomies are very safe, totally reversible, and about as invasive as an doctor’s exam for a woman getting a birth control prescription. There is some soreness afterwards for about 24 hours, but that’s pretty much it for side effects.
(So much better than The Pill, which is taken by millions of women in our country, the side effects of which are well known and can be brutal.)
If/when the male becomes a responsible adult, and perhaps finds a mate, if they want to have a baby, the vasectomy can be reversed, and then redone once the childbearing stage is over. And each male can bank their sperm before the vasectomy, just in case.
It’s not that wild of an idea. 80% of males in the U.S. are circumcised, most as babies. And that’s not reversible.
Don’t like my ideas? That’s fine. I’m sure there are better ones. Go ahead and suggest your own ideas. My point is that it’s nonsense to focus on women if you’re trying to get rid of abortions. Abortion is the “cure” for an unwanted pregnancy.
If you want to stop abortions, you need to prevent the “disease” – meaning, unwanted pregnancies. And the only way to do that, is by focusing on men, because: MEN CAUSE 100% OF UNWANTED PREGNANCIES. Or. IRRESPONSIBLE EJACULATIONS BY MEN CAUSE 100% OF UNWANTED PREGNANCIES.
If you’re a man, what would the consequence need to be for you to never again ejaculate irresponsibly? Would it be money related? Maybe a loss of rights or freedoms? Physical pain?
Ask yourselves: What would it take for you to value the life of your sexual partner more than your own temporary pleasure or convenience?
Are you someone who learns better with analogies? Let’s try this one: Think of another great pleasure in life, let’s say food. Think of your favorite meal, dessert, or drink.
What if you found out that every time you indulge in that favorite food you risked causing great physical and mental pain for someone you know intimately. You might not cause any pain, but it’s a real risk.
Well, you’d probably be sad, but never indulge in that food again, right? Not worth the risk!
And then, what if you further found out, there was a simple thing you could do before you ate that favorite food, and it would eliminate the risk of causing pain to someone else. Which is great news!
BUT the simple thing you need to do makes the experience of eating the food slightly less pleasurable. To be clear, it would still be VERY pleasurable, but slightly less so. Like maybe you have to eat the food with a fork or spoon that you don’t particularly like.
Would you be willing to do that simple thing, and eliminate the risk of causing pain to someone you know intimately, every single time you ate your favorite food?
OF COURSE YOU WOULD.
Condoms (or even pulling out) is that simple thing. Don’t put women at risk. Don’t choose to maximize your own pleasure if it risks causing women pain.
Men mostly run our government. Men mostly make the laws. And men could eliminate abortions in 3 months or less without ever touching an abortion law or evening mentioning women.
In summary: STOP TRYING TO CONTROL WOMEN’S BODIES AND SEXUALITY. UNWANTED PREGNANCIES ARE CAUSED BY MEN.
The end.

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http://dotcalmspage.blogspot.com/2015/10/mcfall-v-shimp-does-not-exclude-women.html

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 07, 2015


McFall v. Shimp Does Not Exclude Women


The 1978 ruling of Judge John P. Flaherty, Jr., in McFall v. Shimp established bodily autonomy as a legal precedent that does not exclude women, including those seeking abortions.
 
Here are some key points.
 
The plaintiff, Robert McFall, suffered from a rare bone marrow disease and sought the court to compel the defendant, McFall's cousin Shimp, to donate bone marrow to save McFall's life after Shimp refused.

The question posed by the plaintiff was that, in order to save the life of one of its members by the only means available, may society infringe upon one's absolute right to his "bodily security"?

The court found the decision to rest with the defendant, stating that "to compel him to submit to an intrusion of his body would change every concept and principle" upon which American society is founded.

Justice Flaherty continued: "To do so would defeat the sanctity of the individual, and would impose a rule which would know no limits, and one could not imagine where the line would be drawn.
 
"... For a society which respects the rights of one individual, to sink its teeth into the jugular vein or neck of one of its members and suck from it sustenance for another member, is revolting to our hard-wrought concepts of jurisprudence. Forceable extraction of living body tissue causes revulsion to the judicial mind. Such would raise the spectre of the swastika and the Inquisition, reminiscent of the horrors this portends."

So, whose property is a woman's body? Does it belong to the state, which may then decide who lives and dies? Does it belong to some stranger she never met and may never meet? Does it belong to her father or her husband, as the Bible says?

Or does a woman's body belong to the woman herself just as a man's body belongs to the man himself?
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CALL YOUR SENATORS NOW!!!!!

https://www.senate.gov/senators/index.htm