St00pit n00z, part duh

Greetings, fellow Dot Calm Readers, Freedom Fighters, and Truth Crusaders!

Today, just because I'm in that kind of mood, I'm only going to blawg about st00pit tRUmp nooz!

Yeah, sure...I know, I know...there's a crap-ton of daily outrage to report.

But I just don't feel like it today.

I'm sick of dealing with it--there's so damn much that I'm momentarily on outrage overload...Grrr!

I've already been Resistbot-ing a mile a minute to my congress-critters, and, today, I just don't have the heart to rehash it all here.

So, nyeah.

That said, for a quick fix of the usual daily deluge of horrific n00z--like how Puerto Rico is in sickeningly dire straits and like the arrest of Charlottesville beating victim DeAndre Harris for getting in the way of the Nazis' and neo-confederates' fists, boots, and pipes while black--check out Democratic Underground. That's where I peruse the morning's gawd-awful headlines and stories before I read my daily funnies over cawfee.

The one st00pit n00z story that inspired this post and its title is PEWtin's cock holster's ludicrous idea to challenge Rexxon to a duel of IQs because the daycare dotard was pissed when Rexxon rightfully called him a "fucking moron" for wanting to waste billions of taxpayer dollars to increase our already useless nuclear arsenal by an insanely st00pit tenfold.

I tweeted tRUmp so many tweets full of "HAHAHAHAHA..." that I'm shocked that punkin' didn't block me.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

[gasps]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I mean [wipes eyes]...

tRUmp can't even spell "IQ"!

He'd fail an IQ test because he doesn't have an IQ to test!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

...hoooo boy.

(Hehe!)

And then, of course, there's the obligatory report of Sarah "I'm always smelling dog shit right under my nose" Sanders claiming that tRUmp was merely "joking"...

 

...followed by the obligatory report of White House staff affirming that, no, tRUmp was not joking and was dead serious about challenging Rexxon to an IQ test.

 

Hellz, Mensa even offered to host the face-off.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[gaaaasps]

Crap, my face and my stomach are starting to hurt from laughing this much.

(Heehee!)

Maybe tRUmp steps on the scale every morning and thinks that's his IQ!

Should I tell tRUmp that, like I assume is true for most engineers, I got every question right on the last IQ test I took?

Nah...his fuzzy orange haid would splode.

Boy, though, it sure would be funny to watch. He'd probably be so flustered that he'd open and close his face anus of a mouth like a fish, impotently trying to think up something devastating to say.

Hehe!

[breathes]

Ahhh...

Not that you do or should care, my test score is no lie, either--when I got out of college and moved to a new state with no friends or family within hours' drive, I joined Mensa. I attended meetings until I realized that, even among misfits, I was a misfit...people like Dot Calm worked so hard to mainstream me into society that I was a little too, er, socially well-adjusted and normal-looking to fit in! And that bit o' silliness is the only reason I'm sharing. Heh, too bad I can't be a fly on the wall while someone tells tRUmp....

So, what other st00pit shit did the ludicrous tangerine ballsack* (or is that "polyester cockwomble"*? Or is it "tiny fingered, Cheeto-faced, ferret wearing shitgibbon"*?) pull this week?**

He wants to revoke NBC's broadcasting license, which has exactly the same probability of happening (and almost for the same reasons) as monkeys flying out of my butt.

And, like Tennessee Senator Bob Corker, multiple Republicans and close advisers have been coming out from under their slimy, moldy rocks to declare tRUmp “unstable,” “losing a step,” and “unraveling.” He apparently threw a tRUmper tantrum to his security chief: “I hate everyone in the White House! There are a few exceptions, but I hate them!” Also according to Vanity Fair and LA Times, "John Kelly has tightened the flow of information and visitors, which has frustrated Trump and resulted in 'shouting matches' between the two men." Well, waah waah waah--if the fucking moron doesn't like it, he can just resign.

Meanwhile, tRUmp has been busy feuding with Bob Corker, calling him "liddle" instead of "little" because his keyboard is so YUGE and his hands are so, so, so teeny tiny with stubby vulgarian baby Vienna sNausage fingers that, microscopic though they be, are still larger than his...acorn.

If Republicans weren't so busy kissing comrade tRUmp's ample Russian rump for their America-screwing, wealth-extracting, economy-crashing tax subsidies for the rich (in direct opposition to the will of the American public, who, according to Reuters, firmly believe that the rich should pay more taxes), they'd notice that their opinion of tRUmp's unfitness to hold office is shared by most Americans. tRUmp's approval rates are dropping in every state; according to a Quinnipiac poll, 55% of voters say that Trump is not fit to serve as president. 70% of voters say the president should stop tweeting from his personal account. But, hey, we're just the American people, and it's just our country--WTF do we know?!

Here's Seth Meyers with a quick round-up of moar st00pit n00z:

And now here's something you'll really like!

See yas next week, friends! Maybe we'll get lucky and get wiped out by a stray asteroid before tRUmp kills us all with his sheer, superpower-level st00pidity!

- Dot Calm's shadow

(If you value my work, please consider supporting me on Patreon--thank you!)

* Insult tRUmp like a true Scotsman: http://www.nerdcore.de/2016/06/24/scottish-trump-insults-ranked/

 

** Jackass did so much st00pit since my Monday post that I had to refresh my memory here: https://whatthefuckjusthappenedtoday.com/