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Light travels faster than sound.

That's why some people appear to be bright

until you hear them speak.

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Every Sperm Is Sacred Lyrics

Album: The Meaning Of Life
Artist: Monty Python
Sung to the tune of Every Sperm is Sacred. 


Dad:
There are Jews in the world.
There are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed, but
I've never been one of them.

I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
They'll take you as soon as you're warm.

You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on. You're
A Catholic the moment Dad came,

Because

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

Children:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

Girl:
Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.

Children:
Every sperm is wanted.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighborhood.

Mum:
Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.

Men:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.

Women:
If a sperm is wasted,...

Children:

...God get quite irate.

Priest:
Every sperm is sacred.

Bride and Groom:

Every sperm is good.

Nannies:
Every sperm is needed...

Cardinals:
...In your neighborhood!

Children:
Every sperm is useful.
Every sperm is fine.

Funeral Cortege:
God needs everybody's.

Mourner #1:
Mine!

Mourner  #2:
And mine!

Corpse:
And mine!

Nun:
Let the Pagan spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill, and plain.

Holy Statue:
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.

Everyone:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighborhood.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite iraaaaaate!

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Don’t argue with a Republican. He will take you
down to his level and beat you with experience.
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