Lock Your Car! Here Comes Issa!
In a lengthy profile, the New Yorker dredges up a series of scandalous allegations from the House Oversight Chairman's criminal past. (The doity rats!)
Among them: Issa has been accused of burning down a building and arrested for carrying a concealed weapon (he paid a fine, got 6 months probation) and stealing a red Maserati (hmm...good taste, Issa--case dismissed).
The stories are old ones, (Oh, thank gawd they’re old!) and have been aired before, and Issa "seemed tired of defending himself"(Yeah, defending can be tiresome) from them, writes Ryan Lizza.
"Everyone," Issa told him, "has a past." And in reviewing the events that have dogged him, "Issa’s defense in most cases can be summarized in four words," (OOO, OOO, I know...the devil made me do it) writes Lizza. "My brother did it." (Okay...that’ll work)
That past aside (read the 8,000-word piece in its entirety for a much fuller picture), the article goes on to describe Issa, 57, in other terms: as a "gadget junkie" with 16 patents to his name; as the "Martha Stewart (Yeah, but Martha did time) of the Republican Party" who has modified his offices with sky-scene ceiling tiles (Sans bars); and as an entrepreneur who recorded his own voice when making his company's famed Viper alarm. It memorably shouted, "Please step away from the car." (Why not?)
Yeah, he had a coupla good years!