More TV for Christians: "Wheel of fortune," Christian style
In the game "Wheel of Fortune," players are presented with a puzzle that consists of words or phrases. They are invited to guess letters as they work toward solving the puzzle. Even the first guesses are educated guesses--they are not just wild guesses--because players know the number and the lengths of the words in the puzzle; they know the letters that make up the words in the language; and they know how those words usually fall together. As more letters are revealed, the players refine their guesses until enough letters are revealed to make the content of the puzzle clear. Thus, the players change their answers over time as more and more letters are revealed until they finally solve the puzzle.
In science, an observation leads a researcher to hypothesize what caused it. This hypothesis is not some wild-ass guess--it is an educated guess based on what the researcher sees and already knows about how the world works. The researcher then performs experiments to collect more observations--evidence--to verify or falsify the hypothesis. After each round of evidence is collected, the hypothesis is discarded, refined, or accepted for more researchers to experiment against--in other words, over time, as more evidence is obtained, scientists change their answers about the explanation. Once the hypothesis explains all the available evidence consistently across a number of fields and observed by many, many researchers, then it is considered to be a theory. When the action of a theory is expressed in a closed-form equation, that expression is considered a law.
My Tea Party Christian friend recently saw a scientific exhibit that got him all excited. He was so impressed with what he saw that he went home and looked up all the individual presentations online. He mused of the scientists, "If this is what they have completed so far, then imagine what they must be doing now that we can't see yet--imagine what they will be able to do in the next few years."
I found this interesting.
This is the same man who says that "science can't be trusted"...that "scientists make shit up"...that scientists "keep changing their answers."
Can you say "compartmentalization"?
I knew you could.
Ignoring that for the moment, I explained to my friend how science works, comparing it to the "Wheel of Fortune" game.
What surprised me most was that he was not at all surprised. The analogy made total sense to him.
But it got me thinking...
What if Christians played "Wheel of Fortune" through the lens of religion instead of reality?
Yes, friends--it's time for more "TV for Christians,"
Dot Calm's shadow-style!
[Cue cheesy theme music and cheesier announcer]
ANNOUNCER: It's time for WHEEL...OF...FORTUNE with your hosts, Vanna White and Pat Sajak!
[The audience applauds. The ever-lovely Vanna White, smiling radiantly, strides elegantly across the set in yet another stunning evening gown to take her place by the puzzle board. Pat Sajak takes his place on the set, keeping his mouth shut to hide his moronic politics and his envy of Dick Clark's permanent status as America's Oldest and most loved Teenager.]
PAT: Tonight's theme is Christianity, so our three players tonight are all Christians: Mash, Dodo, and Gomer--what lovely biblical names! Let's give them all a round of applause.
[APPLAUSE]
PAT: Vanna, what is our puzzle tonight?
VANNA [gesturing gracefully to the puzzle board]: Here it is, Pat. It looks like we have some punctuation.
PUZZLE BOARD: Ding...ding.
PAT: Mash, you won the coin toss, so you get to go first. Spin the wheel and pick a letter.
MASH: I already know the puzzle, Pat--it's "God is love"!
PAT [puzzled]: Mash, are you sure you want to make such a guess this early in the game? You don't have any money yet.
MASH: Oh, that's OK--God will provide.
PAT: Well, if you insist on making a guess without any letters or prize money, then try taking another look at the board. We usually don't give hints--we usually don't need to--but you can see how many letters are in each word. That should help you.
MASH: What, you mean change my answer like some Satanist scientist? Thanks just the same, Mister Sajak, but I already know what the puzzle is. It's "God is love"!
PAT [confused]: Vanna, is the puzzle "God is love"?
VANNA [looks at the puzzle and shakes her head]: No, Pat.
PAT: I'm sorry, Mash--your turn is over. Dodo, it's your turn. Spin the wheel and guess a letter.
DODO: Guess a letter? For what?
PAT [confused again]: To solve the puzzle on the board.
DODO: But Pat--there is no puzzle! There are no letters, so there is no puzzle. Until you have all the letters, you can't say there's a puzzle there at all. The puzzle doesn't exist. Even a five-year-old can see that.
PAT [even more confused]: Um, Dodo, that's the point of the game--to guess the letters to solve the puzzle. The puzzle is right up there, where Vanna is standing. The objective is to guess the letters so you can figure out what the puzzle says and win the money. Have you ever seen the show?
DODO: Can't say that I have. We don't keep no demon boxes in our home.
PAT: ...by which, I assume, you mean television sets.
DODO: That's right.
PAT: Well, would you trust me as an authority and a FOX News Republican that the goal of the game is to guess the letters to solve the puzzle on the board that clearly exists by where Vanna, who also clearly exists, is standing?
DODO: Well, my pastor owns a tee-vee. He says that FOX has gotten pretty socialist-Marxist-leftist these days, but it's still the most accurate news a good God-fearing Christian Republican can find outside of Glenn Beck and Alex Jones. But if you're an authority, then I guess I trust you if you insist that a puzzle exists.
PAT: Great! Then go ahead, Dodo, and spin the wheel
--if you believe it exists--and guess a letter.
DODO [spins the wheel]: T!
PAT: Vanna, is there a "t"?
VANNA [striding over to the reveal the lit-up letter on the puzzle board]: Yes, there is one "t," Pat.
DODO: I'd like to guess the puzzle now, Pat.
PAT: Go ahead.
DODO: Mash, my friend, you gave me the answer. The puzzle is "God will provide."
PAT [bemused]: Dodo, there's no "t" in "God will provide." I'm afraid your turn is over.
DODO: But Pat, I KNOW the answer. It's "God will provide." I know that I know that I know that I know! I have faith that my answer is right!
PAT: I'm sorry, Dodo. but that's the wrong answer. Our next contestant is Gomer. You're looking lovely this evening in your pink chiffon kerchief, Gomer.
GOMER: My husband always makes sure I cover my head when I leave the house, Pat, for the sake of the angels.
PAT: Is that in the Bible? I'm not familiar with that passage.
GOMER: It's 1 Corinthians 11:10, Pat--because man was not made for woman but woman was made for man, she has to have her head covered, to show that man has authority over her, because the angels are watching and will come down and have sex with her and spawn another race of giants like the ones that forced God to drown the world in the flood. I'm paraphrasing, of course, but that's what it says.
PAT [evidently surprised]: Wait, the Bible says that angels mate with women? And that the women give birth to giants? And that's why women have to keep their heads covered?
GOMER: Yes, Sir. But don't ask me because I'm a woman. I'm not allowed to instruct you because you're a man and thus my superior, per 1 Corinthians 14:34.
MASH: She's right on both counts, Pat. She's not allowed to instruct you, and angels really did come down, copulate with human women, and produce giants. It's in Genesis 6:4, "There were giants in the earth in those days; and also after that, when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of renown." "Came in unto" means "had s-e-x with," and "sons of God" refers to the angels.
DODO: That's right! And now that women stopped covering heir heads in public in the 1970s, people are getting taller and taller and taller--they've been turning into the giants that the Apostle Paul warned us about!
GOMER: Heavens!
PAT: Fascinating! Who knew?
VANNA: But wasn't Goliath a giant, and didn't he come after the flood?
GOMER: That's right--he did.
PAT: So, it sounds like the flood wasn't so effective in killing all the giants after all if they came back afterward. Hunh, who knew that God's plan to wash away all evil was so...ineffective? Well, Gomer, it's your turn--spin the wheel and pick a letter.
GOMER [spins wheel]: S!
PAT: Vanna, is there an "s"?
VANNA: There sure is, Pat! There are three of them.
PUZZLE BOARD: Ding...ding...ding!
PAT: Spin again, Gomer, and pick another letter.
GOMER: Um, can I buy an "e"?
PAT: Sure thing, Gomer--looks like a good value for your money!
[DING...DING...DING]
PAT: Spin again.
GOMER [spins]: An "n," please?
VANNA: You're in luck--there is one "n."
GOMER [spins]: Hmmm...is there...an "h"?
PAT: There is one "h." Spin again, Gomer--you're doing really well!
GOMER [spins]: Hmm, well, now, I am really stumped. Is there a "r"?
VANNA: Yes, there is one "r."
GOMER [spins]: Is there a "c"?
PAT: Yes, there are three "c's." Well done! Spin again, Gomer.
[Gomer spins and goes bankrupt. The puzzle board makes a sad bloop. The audience groans.]
PAT: Oh! What rotten luck! And you were doing so well! That's how the wheel goes sometimes. Mash, it's your turn again. Now you've seen how the game is played, and you have a lot of clues now about what the puzzle is. Since you don't have any money, why don't you spin the wheel and pick a letter?
MASH: oh boy, Pat--I didn't want to wish ill on Gomer, but I prayed and prayed you would get back to me. I don't need to spin--I know the puzzle already! It's "God is love!"
PAT [facepalms]: I'm sorry, Mash, but that is still not the answer. Um...Dodo?
DODO: My prayer is answered--I never thought you would get back to me again! The answer is "God will provide"!
[Pat facepalms. The studio audience facepalms. Atheists watching at home facepalm.]
BUZZER: BUZZZZZZZT!
PAT: Oh, Gomer, if only we'd had another minute, but that buzzer means that time's up.
GOMER: Oh, that's OK, Pat--I had fun just being here.
[The audience applauds Gomer's good sportsmanship]
PAT: Vanna, would you please show us the answer?
[Vanna strides over and reveals the puzzle]
PAT: Well, that's it for our show this week--and a good take-home message for all the Christians watching. I'd like to thank our players for one of the most interesting and pointless games I've seen since forever. Vanna and I wish you a good night from "Wheel of Fortune." See you next time!
[Vanna and Pat smile and wave to the camera. Theme song plays. Audience applauds.]
THE END
Now, before you get your panties in a wad that I'm being all mean to Christians, consider: this is how Christians live their lives when it comes to things like religion, health, relationships, and money. They live their lives ignoring the observable reality they live in and demanding others do the same or at least pander to their delusions. They organize their lives around a fantasy that is no more reasonable than Santa Claus and feel persecuted that the rest of us don't.
Am I really the only one who thinks that this is NOT a good thing?
For example, my Tea Party Christian friend fully expects to win the lottery, despite the astronomical odds against it, because God. He's spent thousands of dollars on a voluntary tax on people who can't do math. I've personally had to bail out multiple religious family members through the years because they fully expected that God would provide. It never occurred to them that their expectations of magic were unrealistic. It never occurred to them that their salvation came at a cost to their loved ones. It never occurred to them that it wasn't God providing. No old bearded guy swooped down from the clouds, pulled a wallet out of the hip pocket of his white robe, asked them how much they needed, and handed them a wad of cash. It was their own family members making sacrifices...sometimes to cover some very unreasonable, irresponsible expenses...because these otherwise reasonable people clung to the unrealistic notion that "God will provide."
And they VOTE.
Don't forget to read Dot Calm's shadow's favorite independent sources of news and information:
Peas, friends. Hug yourselves and each other for me--please and thank you! And treasure every minute you have to enjoy life with your loved ones. Like I said last time, there are too many sick fuckers out there trying to make it our last. Don't let them intimidate you with fear. Don't let the bastards win. Let's all make sure we both find and give as much joy as we can while we are here...for however long that turns out to be.
- Dot Calm's shadow
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Today's Lead Story: Don't Ignore Child-Rape Accusations against Donald Trump
This story was too important to miss, so I'm reprinting it from Daily Kos in its entirety (minus the big ugly picture of Trump making his "F" face).
-- Dot Calm's shadow
Why Recent Child Rape Case Against Trump Should Not Be Ignored: Victim Has A Witness (updated)
Pals with child rapist, Jeffrey Epstein, it's not a stretch to think Trump is one too.
by DaisiesArePretty
Wednesday Jun 29, 2016
NBC legal analyst, Lisa Bloom, makes a compelling argument as to why the MSM should not ignore the recent child rape case filed by “Jane Doe” against Donald Trump.
Jane Doe reports she was raped more than once by Donald Trump when she was 13 years old. The entire piece is worth a read because it cites other rape cases filed against Trump (link below).
However, in this diary I want to focus on the recent Jane Doe case because, as Bloom points out: “It is exceedingly rare for a sexual assault victim to have a witness.”
From article:
Two unusual documents are attached to Jane Doe’s complaints - sworn declarations attesting to the facts. The first is from Jane Doe herself, telling her horrific story, including the allegation that Jeffrey Epstein also raped her and threatened her into silence, and this stunner:
Defendant Epstein then attempted to strike me about the head with his closed fists while he angrily screamed at me that he, Defendant Epstein, should have been the one who took my virginity, not Defendant Trump . . .
And this one:
Defendant Trump stated that I shouldn’t ever say anything if I didn’t want to disappear like Maria, a 12-year-old female that was forced to be involved in the third incident with Defendant Trump and that I had not seen since that third incident, and that he was capable of having my whole family killed.
The second declaration is even more astonishing, because it is signed by “Tiffany Doe”, Mr. Epstein’s “party planner” from 1991-2000. Tiffany Doe says that her duties were “to get attractive adolescent women to attend these parties.” (Adolescents are, legally, children.)
Tiffany Doe says that she recruited Jane Doe at the Port Authority in New York, persuaded her to attend Mr. Epstein’s parties, and actually witnessed the sexual assaults on Jane Doe:
I personally witnessed the Plaintiff being forced to perform various sexual acts with Donald J. Trump and Mr. Epstein. Both Mr. Trump and Mr. Epstein were advised that she was 13 years old.
It is exceedingly rare for a sexual assault victim to have a witness. But Tiffany Doe says:
I personally witnessed four sexual encounters that the Plaintiff was forced to have with Mr. Trump during this period, including the fourth of these encounters where Mr. Trump forcibly raped her despite her pleas to stop.
Tiffany Doe corroborates, based on her own personal observations, just about everything in Jane Doe’s complaint: that twelve year old Maria was involved in a sex act with Mr. Trump, that Mr. Trump threatened the life of Jane Doe if she ever revealed what happened, and that she would “disappear” like Maria if she did.
Tiffany Doe herself says that she is in mortal fear of Mr. Trump to this day:
I am coming forward to swear to the truthfulness of the physical and sexual abuse that I personally witnessed of minor females at the hands of Mr. Trump and Mr. Epstein . . . I swear to these facts under the penalty for perjury even though I fully understand that the life of myself and my family is now in grave danger.
SEE: www.huffingtonpost.com/...
In relation to why the media is avoiding this story, Lisa Bloom is fair handed. But I don’t think the MSM deserves a fair shake. In my opinion, the media wants to keep Trump viable to create a high-tension, general election horse race and anything that threatens Trump’s viability is ignored.
Lastly. since Trump was a pal of convicted child rapist, Jeffrey Epstein, it's not a stretch to think Trump is one too. Like my dearly departed Mom used to say, “Tell me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are.”
Do I believe Jane Doe and Tiffany Doe are telling the truth? Absolutely — yes.
***
UPDATE
A couple of people commented about the timing of this rape allegation being suspicious.
In another article, Jane Doe, now in her 30s, said it was constantly seeing Trump on TV, and the possibility of him becoming president, that led to her decision to finally end her silence. I find this a plausible reason.
In the Bill Cosby case, many women waited decades before stepping forward. And they were adults at the time of their assaults.
Now, consider that Jane Doe was 13 at the time and threatened with harm, possibly death, by powerful adult men. What are the odds a child of this age would run to police?
There’s another reason I find the accusations of Jane Doe, and her witness, Tiffany Doe, plausible – because I was sexually assaulted at 18 and never reported it.
Why? For some of the reasons stated in this report:
The Bureau of Justice Statistics (BJS) reports that the majority of rapes and sexual assaults perpetrated against women and girls in the United States between 1992 and 2000 were not reported to the police. Only 36 percent of rapes, 34 percent of attempted rapes, and 26 percent of sexual assaults were reported. Reasons for not reporting assault vary among individuals, but one study identified the following as common:
Source: www.nij.gov/...
- Self-blame or guilt.
- Shame, embarrassment, or desire to keep the assault a private matter.
- Humiliation or fear of the perpetrator or other individual's perceptions.
- Fear of not being believed or of being accused of playing a role in the crime.
- Lack of trust in the criminal justice system.
I can’t tell you how many times over the years I’ve chastised myself for not reporting my attack. Because the circumstances of my assault convinced me he had done this before and would likely do the same to other girls. I still think about women I may have saved if I had reported it.
Looking back, I would say to my 18 year old self, “You did nothing wrong.” I spent an hour having coffee with the guy because, ironically, I thought it would be a safe first date. It was 7 pm in the evening, in the diner parking lot, next to an elevated subway train in Queens, NY. So close that, while he was pinning me down in the front seat of his car, holding both of my wrists with one hand, I could see people coming down the train steps headed home from work.
While having coffee, I didn’t touch the guy. I didn’t kiss the guy. And I was evasive when he mentioned seeing me again because I’d decided he wasn’t my type after 15 the first minutes.
Since it was winter, I wasn’t dressed in a way someone could say I was asking for it. I was bundled up in a heavy coat, with a bulky sweater underneath and, under the sweater, a once-piece leotard.
The leotard saved me from penetration. While he struggled to find a way to pull it off with one hand, his other hand loosened his grip on my wrists. I was able to break free, scratching his face with both of my hands, and open the car door. As I headed back to the diner, stone faced, dry eyed, I zipped up my pants and pulled my coat tight around me, then I walked inside and called a cab. Not the police. A cab.
I was an 18 year old college student, a budding feminist, with a supportive family (my dad, though deceased three years before this happened, had been an NYPD officer, and I understood the law), yet it took me 10 years before I told anyone what had happened.
Why? I felt ashamed. I felt stupid. I felt like it was my fault for somehow not knowing he would do this to me. And I didn’t want anyone to know.
So, do I find it understandable that a woman would remain silent for 20-plus years about a rape she suffered as a powerless 13 years old? Absolutely.
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Vox Headlines (Mailbag will return next time)
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An ex-senator called Trump backers "brownshirts," in case you wondered how the RNC's going
The Republicans waged a 3-decade war on government. They got Trump
An expert on fighting poverty makes the case against a universal basic income
Turkey's coup: The Gülen Movement, explained
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Democracy Now!
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Daily Kos
I just have to mention one of the headlines below: blaming reverse mortgages for helping to kill the middle class. What a coincidence--I only just posted an essay on the evils of reverse mortgages a week or three ago. I flagged the DKos headline below for your convenience. Also, pls forgive the formatting. I tried to make todaze DKos look nice, but Blogger had other ideaRs.
-- Dot Calm's shadow
- Stephen Colbert takes control of the Republican convention podium before being tossed by security
- Cleveland cops fail to get Ohio's 'open carry' law suspended in wake of Dallas, Baton Rouge slayings
- First day of the Republican convention is the last day for the Never Trump moment
- Ivanka Trump's rabbi withdraws from speaking at Republican convention
- ANOTHER TRUMP MUST-READ (BuzzFeed) - Articles Designed for Maximum Trump Meltdown
- Another of Trump's 'star-studded' speakers bails out of the Republican convention line-up
- The final lineup for Donald Trump's Republican convention is here, and it's hilarious
- Chaos on Republican convention floor; Colorado, Iowa delegates walk out
- Republican Convention "Hard Security Zone" is gun free. Wtf?
- Ron Johnson, genius, is breaking his own GOP convention boycott
- Sign the petition: I agree with Hillary: America is already great. sponsored
- Want to wreck Trump, Pence, and the whole GOP ticket? Chip in $1 to each of Daily Kos' endorsed candidates for Senate.
- Trump Campaign Denounces John Kasich in Ohio, Where Convention Begins
- MUST-READ: New Yorker, "Trump's Ghostwriter Tells All"
Here it is!
Sign the petition to your elected officials: Support the protection and preservation of our public lands!
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AlterNet
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Movies
Sorry, Loves--I got home w-a-y late from work today, so no introductions to todaze m00bies.
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Since they scrubbed all traces off their website...
I need more TP for my bunghole!
posted by Dot Calm @ 7:38 PM
