I'll believe corporations are people...

...when one is baptized. (hear that, you religious creeps?)

...when one is called for jury service.

...when one is elected Pope. (or, to tone it down "...when one becomes a minister")

...when one is allowed to vote.

...when I see a banker go to jail. (somewhat tangential, but still...)
...when one takes a selfie. (I had to look that one up)
...when one adopts a pet.
...when one serves in the military. (hear that Cheney, you slime!)
...when one gets married to a human being.
...when one actually pays some taxes.
...when one climbs Mt. McKinley.
...when one gets bitten by a shark. (make that eaten by)
...when someone shows me where in the Constitution corporate personhood is mentioned.
...when one becomes a saint.