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NEW ABORTION RULES:

Before an abortion is performed, the procedure must be performed by a licensed physician with admitting privileges at all nearby hospitals, and the procedure must be limited to surgical not back alley centers; the doctor must monitor the procedure even for non-surgical abortions, doctors performing the dastardly deed must do so at one of those scarcely located surgical centers and the doctor must have monitoring equipment, even for non-surgical abortions.

In addition, the above-mentioned provisions would ban abortions after the 20th week of pregnancy, and close down all but five (5) clinics in the entire state of Texas, which, hopefully, severely limits that bitch’s access to healthcare options, as well as...here comes the big one, limits the bitch’s right to choose.

High fives all around!

BUT, WAIT!

How come we’re not legislating PENISES?

If and when a penis is used, there must be a monetary fine if:  a) he uses it on a vagina that isn’t his lawful wife’s, and b) it becomes illegal if his penis ever frequents one of those places of ill repute (a.k.a. whore house)! Those “clinics” need to be shut down immediately!