These are serious times.

There is some legitimate concern that escapes me at the moment. Seems like whenever things become stressful, I think of something funny and become unable to be serious.

So, here goes.

As a schoolgirl in the 50s I was expected to study shorthand if I chose not to take an “Academic” course. I will train to be an asset to the “smart men” who did the serious work.

Hmm, I seem to be having trouble with that concept.

But, a “Commercial” course is what most girls who didn’t pursue an “Academic” course took. A “General” course was for the kids who just weren’t “home.”

The teacher dictated a letter in “longhand” and we were to take it down in “shorthand” and read it back from our shorthand notes.

Herein lies the problem.

Wow! This is an unscientific method of communicating, I thought. So, if I don’t translate correctly, I could literally start a war! Or say: I’ve got your family; it will cost $1,000,000 to get them back. If you don’t reply immediately, you will receive body parts...one piece at a time!

In fact, the translation was: How is the family? We just got back from a $1,000,000 trip. I’m just catching up with the mail. We all got lovely tans from sightseeing...one site at a time!

This isn’t an exact science, is it? Somebody named Gregg sat down one day and said to himself: Wouldn’t it be fun to make up stuff and convince women it is a superior way of communicating? Trust me. 

No! I’m supposed to translate these hieroglyphics? I don’t think so.

So, one day it was my turn to read my shorthand notes out loud. So I say:

bla, bla, bla...and the peas and carrots...bla, bla, bla.

I could sense muffled tsh, tsh, tsh...I look up. The class was trying to hold back. The usually staid Mrs. Whatever-her-name-was...is busting. I’m thinking...what’s so funny?

Oh noooooo! Seems my translation of peas and carrots should have been boys and girls!

Now I’m sure my future is not as a secretary taking notes from some "smart" man.

Maybe I’m not cut out for this shorthand b.s. ...good riddance! I saw my future as much more important.

And, the rest is history. (Please insert a smilie face...I can't find mine at the moment.

******