Now You See It...Now You Don’t!

Wow! We must be rolling in it. Such prosperity. Such plenitude. Why, it’s as if a giant money tree umbrellas our whole blessed country. Pick off what you need, whenever you need it. A few thousand here, a million or two there, and 9 BILLION just plain MISSING!

Missing?

Do the math.
Let’s see. Suppose we’re dealing in thousand dollar bills. It would take 1000 bills to make a million, which would use up a roomful of space, stacked up to an 8 ft. ceiling. 1000 stacks of $1000 bills represents 1 million.

It would take 1000 stacks of 1 million $1000 bills to make 1 billion. It would take 9 stacks of 1 billion each to reach 9 billion. And don’t say the dog ate it! Leave Fido out of this debacle. It just vanished. Gone! Poof! Adios!

Attention all taxpayers!
Get your pen and checkbook ready, and nobody gets hurt.

Bremer, ma’ am.
As of January 31, 2005, the 9 bil was still missing, unless you heard something I didn’t. It was earmarked for Iraqi reconstruction. Paul Bremer, that Medal of Freedom guy, seems to have misplaced it. Bremer, you’re doin’ a heck of a job!

Severe inefficiencies by the Coalition Provisional Authority (CPA) were cited by auditors as the cause for the missing 9 billion. Is that an understatement, or is it my imagination?

Bremer disputes the findings. According to a Pentagon spokesman, the CPA was operating under extraordinary conditions and relied on Iraqi ministries to manage development money that was transferred to them. Those silly Iraqis, it was all their fault. Hmm, hope they’ll make better soldiers than baby sitters of a pile o’ money.

The CPA established major reforms in Iraq’s budgeting system, setting up a transparent system. Guess it was very successful: $9 billion has gone completely transparent.