And now a word from my shadow:

You know how the Xtian "Right" believes that it can only have freedom by denying others theirs?

One recent tactic is to claim that homosexuals should not marry because marriage is only for couples that can bear children.

To be fair, this claim is nothing more than a logical extension of the Catholic Church's notion that sex is only for procreation.

But what does it really mean?

If it's true that only couples that can bear children should be allowed to marry, then America must start doing fertility testing on every couple that wants to get married--and we'd better start today.

Not fertile?

We tattoo that fact on your forehead--no marriage for you!

If you're already married, we will test you for fertility a minimum of once per year--preferably on your anniversary (how romantic!).

Have you become infertile since your salad days?

Lost your sperm count?

Injured your family jewels?

Gone through menopause?

You're out on the street--see ya, wouldn't wanna be ya!

We'll keep those filthy giggle sticks and hoo-has out of trouble!

Oh, and this new law will also produce a nice, small, unobtrusive government that wouldn't dream of invading Americans' privacy, especially in the bedroom ...!

[Time to get out the duck tape and go duck tape your head!]